Its been a rough couple of months for this Survivor, but the light is coming back to my world again! I so needed it back, my world had just been way to dark. First Transition to a new home, then a jolt to my brain. WOW! Not a good mix, lol. I moved to a totally new & unknown empty house, and had to set it up to feel like home again, which we all know takes a long, long time now. 4 months later, its only just now starting to feel like home. Finally! I incurred a slight concussion which really messed with everything. Set me Way Back! I just didnt feel like my New Normal self at all for quite some time, but shes coming back slowly. That occurred just in the last month! Boy was I feeling wonky. I went from living every day in a hectic city to a quiet rural area, and it really messed with my senses so much. My anxiety is less triggered now, but when it is, watch out, teeheehee! Im a mess for hours. My Flooding has become more common too, my sister is so used to it, she keeps tissues in the car, hands one to me when I start to cry, but never responds to my reactions. Total respect & love. I went from the known to the unknown over-night. I still dont know where much is around here except the mailboxs & the park, but Im cool with that. Its calm, which I hadnt experienced since I left the hospital, at all till now! Its actually nice! I went from being so able during the nice weather, to being in such pain when the cold got here. That made my spirits hurt so much, but I got me a body pillow again, and I get such relief just from that simple one thing, I sleep like a baby at least! I get up Im still in pain, but I am moving slower, more aware of what hurts the most, and avoiding any of that. Spring will be here soon enough, I can hold out till then. Ive lived through worse! I spent 7+yrs inside, never going outside except very rarely, and everything Im sure stank as Im a smoker. Now I go outside even if just on the porch for now, and see the beauty around. Its addictive to me! I love it! Even at less than 20 degrees, I refuse to smoke cigarettes inside now, smoke free zone, so anyone can visit me now. I was used to not having much light in my world, but my family got me Sunlight Bulbs for my living room. Now when the light starts to fade instead of feeling down, I shut down my computer, shut my blinds, and turn the lights on and spend the evening in there. It lifts my spirits so much, I didnt know this worked, but it does! I start to feel motivated to do things, like cooking & such which I hadnt done since I came home from the hospital years ago. I went from feeling so Dependent, to my family telling me that No, I am totally Independent, just need assistant with rides and things I ask for help with. Thats All! This boosted my feelings So Much! I used to focus daily on Brain Injury, but I now find my focus has changed. I live with brain injury, so why think about it all day. Thats negative, and Im too positive for that. I want positive in my world now, and thats what I look for almost every moment of every day. Positive lifts spirits so much! ~ Jeni
Posted on: Thu, 08 Jan 2015 22:15:06 +0000
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