Its been a year. One whole year since I was hospitalized for a biopsy of a huge mass on my neck and had all sorts of bloodwork and imaging tests. I had never experienced surgery before. I was awake as they cut my neck open and completely alert throughout the whole procedure. Didnt feel pain with the local anesthesia but I felt all the pulling, cutting sowing as I heard the sounds of the OR tools, monitors and doctors, nurses technicians. I was awake because I was in my second trimester and didnt want to harm my baby. The moments Id feel my mind drift to fear and feel the physiological effects of the fear entering my body, Id immediately hypnotize myself to calm down by singing one line of a song repeatedly in my mind and my body would ease up. At one point I had to remind them I was awake. They had placed a tool on my face since the sheet was covering and I could barely breathe. As soon as they had the sample of tissue, they sent it to the lab and the doctor asked for immediate results. He came to see me in recovery and gave me the news. The diagnosis: Hodgkins Lymphoma. My life changed in an instant. When I was discharged, I went home for the weekend to celebrate my daughters birthday. Knowing that I had to go in on Monday to discuss treatment, I kept hearing the doctor tell me I might not make it to her next birthday if I dont treat right away. The most difficult day though was my first appointment with the oncologist. He told me that after reviewing my scans I was a Stage 3 or possibly Stage 4. The mass in my chest was so huge that it was obstructing important blood vessels. It went past my diaphragm. And had some in my abdomen. I had to inject myself with anticoagulants twice daily until my birthday (2 months). But they couldnt do proper staging because right then and there they asked me to decide if I was going to terminate the pregnancy and I said no. No PET scans were done at that time. My oncologist told me I had to start chemotherapy right away. This cancer is very aggressive and if left untreated can spread very quickly. Thankfully, this type of lymphoma is curable and responds very well to chemo. So, I thought of my kids the most and how I couldnt leave them behind without a mom and I said yes to chemo. My husband and I and our parents and siblings had to stay positive and hold on to faith all the way. We had all experienced the loss of loved ones to cancer and as devastating as this can be, we had to believe everything would be alright. This is getting long. To be continued...
Posted on: Thu, 09 Oct 2014 03:59:57 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015