Its been quiet on the blog for a while now, and I feel like its time I told you why. Its simple really, I lost my passion. I lost it very suddenly on April 18th at 7:30 am. That was when my father passed away. He had been struggling with a brain disease that took away his ability to speak, and eventually his ability to understand any communication. It wasnt dementia, it was even more cruel than that. He was still himself, never losing the ability to reason, or remember, or think the way he had always done. My Dad told me it was like being slowly buried alive when it first started happening. He was my biggest supporter, especially when it came to the blog. After he lost his words hed still find ways to show me he followed what I was doing. He would pull out articles and mentions of the blog to show me that he knew how hard I was working on it. We shared a love of photography and one day about two years ago, long after he couldnt understand most written words, I wrote somewhere on the blog that I hoped to get a macro lens for my camera. He showed up at my house two days later with a macro lens in his hands. I still dont know how he knew that. We lost him suddenly, in the most tragic of ways. After six years of living that way he just couldnt carry on. I understand but Ive had a very hard time letting go. And I couldnt think about the blog without thinking about him. So I put it down for a while and focused on behind the scenes work - meal planning and counseling for clients who needed me. But today I made a recipe. I pulled out my camera and photographed it. And I cried a little, but I also remembered how much I love doing this. It feels good to be caught up in something I enjoy again. Maybe Ill even post it over on the blog. But mostly Im hoping this is what healing is all about - getting to the point where youre brave enough to do something that makes you sad yet deeply happy. Im extremely thankful to those of you who have stuck around here until I finally got to this point. Thank you for those silent nudges through comments, likes, emails, and questions that never let me forget all of this was still here when I finally got my feet back underneath me. I felt like I needed to share with all of you why Ive been absent for so long. I think Ill be back there sharing with you guys very soon.
Posted on: Wed, 24 Sep 2014 16:12:06 +0000
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