Its been said many times that God wont put more upon us than we can bear. While thats not exactly a direct quote, (I Corinthians 10:13) it does tell us something about the character of God. A dear friend was visiting the other night. He stated that he perceived God as a child throwing temper tantrums. (Remember all of us bring our past into our perception of God.) I disagreed with him, to me God is not the child, but the loving parent. I grew up in church. Everyone in my family grew up in church. Pastoring seemed to be the family business. I always loved God but I saw Him as distant, judgmental and angry faceless being. It wasnt until I became a parent that I began to see God in a new light. To me, God is the ultimate father. He is loving, gentle, kind, caring, concerned, compassionate, tender, long suffering, patient, angry, irritated, judging, sad, lonely, inpatient... The list could go on and on. Some reading this may recoil in horror. They have been taught God is never ALL of those things but I think the Boble makes a good case in favor of the above emotions. Being a parent means I also have had ALL of those emotions as well. I LOVE my children. Nothing is more important than being a wife and mother. Nothing! But, no matter how much I love my children, all four of them at one time or the other has elicited love, kindness, patience, long suffering, sadness, anger and loneliness from me. The majority of parents will agree. Even the most angelic children have been yelled at when they have run into the street. I could not imagine being God. To have all His children to deal with? No thank you! Four is enough for me! (Yes, I still have four children. Though Jordan is gone, she still IS, therefore I am her mother.) That pesky, much debated, argued upon scripture has somehow turned into a platitude. Dont worry about Jordan.....John. God wont put more on you than you can bear. Except thats NOT how I felt when Jordan died so spectacularly unexpectedly last year. I could NOT handle it! WHERE WAS GOD? Where was the peace I had expected God would give me if Jordan ever died? Suddenly my entire relationship with Gid was under review and examination. Many of you were brave enough to be on the journey with me in the months after July. You read as I poured my pain out onto the pages of my computer. You listened as I wailed every night, drifting off to sleep only to suddenly jerk awake at the nightmare I had experienced. I was in shock. I was bewildered. Didnt God heal Lazarus? Didnt God answer the thousands of prayers for Jordan? Where was He? My gifted friend in the ministry pointed something out. Lazarus died. Twice. The second time he stayed dead. No one raised his up, this time it really was over. What did he think as He was dying? What did those irritatingly good and bad sisters of his have to say then? Did they assume he would not die? The Bible never mentions it. Clearly God has a purpose, a plan, the picture to the puzzle pieces in front of us. Lazarus did die finally. It didnt take away from the miracle in his life just as Jordan dying didnt take away all the times God allowed her to stay! After cycling through emotions, I know Jordan really did die. It wasnt a nightmare. Ive come to believe Jordan lived exactly as long as she was suppose to live! Period. Through Jordan I saw God. I understood Gods intent. The answer is simple. Its not God wont put more in you than YOU THINK you can bear., its God doesnt put more on you than HE KNOWS you can bear.! I thought I couldnt survive losing Jordan. It was my biggest fear for 23 years. But, I DID survive it! God knew I could, I didnt know I could. The following illustration came to mind. As parents we know our children, like thousands of children before them, can and will learn to ride a bike. I remember how terrified I was as a child when, at age 6 my father let go of the seat. I screamed and promptly crashed. He was pretty smart. He promised he would hang on to the seat until I could do it. I assumed he would hold on forever because I knew I couldnt do it. Except I could and still can today. All four of my children thought the same thing. Only Jordan had enough faith in her Daddy. When John said she could do it, she nodded and did it. Jordan had complete faith in her father. Ashton had none! She taped her training wheels back on to the bicycle. Theres a lesson there, how many times are we taping the wheels back on. And....what are we using for tape? God loves us. He knows that the things in our life are like riding a bicycle. He KNOWS we can do it, we just have to be like Jordan and have a little faith in Him. Im happy to say all my children know how to ride a bike. I havent written lately, never a good sign. My entire world shattered on December 1, 2014. Tomorrow is Johns life saving brain surgery. The statistics are bad. No one seems to beat this cancer. News Headlines are made when someone lives 2 months longer. If were comparing things to bicycles, this one is like riding a unicycle on a tightrope over the Empire State Building! You are probably more likely to fall off and plunge screaming thousands of feet before hitting the pavement. (Kind of feels like that now!) There is only an 8% survival rate for 5 years. Lung transplants are at 40% at 5 years! Tom, dear, dear Tom asked why John couldnt be one of those 8%? Why not? I dont know that Im ready to get back learning to ride a bike again, much less ride one with only one wheel. Tonight I said to someone that Johns fight is going to be a long, hard fight, harder than even Jordans fight. I didnt know if we were up to another Give it Your All fight. Im not scared, Im terrified! (I also hate Unicycles!) Even as I type this I see God the parent, the Abba, the Daddy standing on the edge of the driveway buckling up my safety helmet because He knows we CAN ride the bike set before us. On your mark, set......7:45 am comes early. Pray as we get on our bikes and attempt to learn how to do this. You love and support is touching and critical. If you can, PLEASE send John a card. We have a temporary address until we leave LA. Love to you all! JOHN ULRICH C/o ULRICH 3003 RIVERSIDE DRIVE BURBANK, CA 91505 Perfect song for me today Strong Enough youtu.be/JCJNZydWoOg
Posted on: Tue, 16 Dec 2014 08:26:37 +0000
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