Its been said that God watches over fools and drunks, meaning some people are doubly-blessed! This afternoon, shortly before 1530, our thoroughly-barmy, on-again / off-again neighbour and one-time lodger Laura Burdette (aka. Miss Piranha) fell off the wagon in most spectacular fashion by consuming two full bottles of cheap vodka from whichever off-licence in Laurel shes not yet been barred from. She rang us up and made even less sense than usual (the woman is paranoid-schizophrenic, bi-polar, obsessive-compulsive, ADHD, and Lord knows what else) and we decided the best course of action was to send Laurel Police Department over to No. 427 Gorman Avenue where she stays every few days with a one-time boyfriend (did we also mention that Miss Piranha happens to be married? Never mind that . . . its a long story!). This sad woman is 36 years old, but has the mind of a 10-year-old and no more than a 3rd grade education level. In the meantime, Laura wandered outside the flat and proceeded to collapse on the walkway at Gorman Avenue and Fifth Street where a motorist saw her and summoned LPD before we could. This came just after a large turnout of police radio cars on some other call in the opposite direction. The constables checked her out and requested Fire Board send a horizontal-taxicab (ambulance) to cart her off to hospital for the usual stomach-pumping, de-tox, and phsych evaluation - she will likely be turned loose later this evening since theres nothing the system can do for someone who doesnt really want the help and is not crazy enough to be committed to an institution involuntarily. Been there - seen that time and time again with Piranha Girl and all attempts on our part and others to help her over the past 13 years since she first arrived in Laurel have been for naught. And life in the sprawling metropolis muddles on... (2 Kodak digital images by J. D. Floyd II, Royal Blue Ltd. archives)
Posted on: Thu, 26 Jun 2014 21:08:19 +0000
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