Its funny... When I made this page I hoped no one would see it. Only me and a few other people. Because these were my thoughts, I didnt want to be venerable. But hey! look at me now 1,500 likes?? What?! Who knew just sharing this page once would get so many people. But I do regret making it sometimes but mostly Im glad I did. The story about making this page was a inner struggle. One day I would want to make it then the next second I deffenatly did not want to. It was like that for about a month or two... Or three. then I would forget about it. And then it would pop up here and there again... Same thoughts... I finally made it... I didnt share it, I didnt post, I just stared at it and thought I made a giant mistake. If someone ever saw this they would think I was stupid or even big headed to even think to make a page about MY life. Like who am I? Im not doing anything, Im not special, Im just a regular girl with cancer. Theres so many others out there that have cancer. What makes me special?... Really?.. Nothing makes me special.... Im just a girl trying to make it through this life. Just like you. So by some reason I shared it. Why? (God) No idea! It just happened. I felt like deleting everything about me off the internet right then.... But I only got about 10 likes... I could do this... Right?...Heh! No I couldnt! I dont remember my first post completely it was like I dont know what to say soo yeah... Emilys thoughts! Something along those lines. But I just typed in a few words and It just came together somehow. It turned out pretty good id say for my first post. I guess... (Remember, I dont remember) But really I didnt know how these post came together (God) because if you met me, sat down with me and had a conversation you would think is this the right girl? She can barley say things right or even stay in a conversation without zoning out. (Im not that bad... Right? lol) but through this page/blog/whatever this is. I have came closer to God. In the beginning I wasnt close to him like I should of been. Yes I was a Christian, yes I loved God, yes I knew what to say, how to live. But I didnt know him personally... Like I had thoughts of Why would you be afraid of God? Hes awesome He made the universe! People say He wouldnt hurt me so why should I be afraid? But He says... ..They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:10-11 NIV) God will discipline us. It will not be pleasant for a while. You know how when you were little you were afraid when your dad came home because if you did something wrong you would get spanked? God is your father. You respect your dad, love him, ect. But youre also are afraid (respectfully) of him. Thats how God is. We love him, respect him, ect. But when you do something wrong youll get disciplined. And through this journey I have had a lot of experiences to become closer to God. But I still need to get even closer... We all need to. The reason how this blog/page was made was not by me because I would of never made it. But God worked through me to make it and to touch peoples lives. And I hope I can still touch people and help them get closer but its not me its God.
Posted on: Tue, 30 Dec 2014 19:02:23 +0000