Its funny how life works, how everything happens, how some people are good or lucky in one area where youre not and youre good or lucky in the areas they aint. And then it seems like the planets align and that person you envied for having something you didnt and vice versa results in both of you getting a reality check, except one person (me) deserved it and the other person didnt. The person Im referring to knows who they are and frankly this isnt the place for details on that, but back to me...I had a great job, hell it was more than that it was a career, at first everything was cool. I got complacent though, and started making not so smart choices, well its like they say its only a matter of time before your choices catch up to you and so now here I am. Funny thing is Im honest about it all, I dont sit around saying poor me cause its nobodys fault but my own, is it frustrating oh yea its definitely frustrating, definitely a nightmare. Unfortunately though its had to come to this point to finally realize that Ive been doing it all wrong. I guess you could say I knew I was messing up but failing to acknowledge fully or be proactive in correcting the problem. Ill tell ya Ive lost a lot more than I wanted to. And it hurts now more than ever that I feel like Im finally in control because I think, well shit why couldnt I have done this a month or two ago? Maybe I wouldnt be completely alone...but then again lifes too short for maybes right? Theres really no good excuse for being the way I was being, guess I was just trying to enjoy my period of no responsibilities, failing to see that I did have a responsibility to someone I cared about. Ive learned a lot though from being in my current position, Ive learned I can go to a restaurant without having a drink to enjoy a meal, and that I can go to a concert and a bar without getting buzzed, Ive learned that just because you have money doesnt mean you should blow it on what you want but what you need (and as much as Im craving a cigarette right now the money in my drawer will remain untouched), yea man all these things I shouldve learned a long time ago, but its okay, life is a constant learning experience and Im still gonna screw up down the line, its inevitable, but Im gonna do my best to make sure its not on the level that I already have
Posted on: Thu, 04 Dec 2014 08:30:07 +0000
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