Its funny how things change so drastically from one day to the next. Two days ago my update was like, I found an intrinsic motivation to write! Yay! And tonight, Im like, I cant write anything I like and oh my god, I might cry. (Ok, but also, PMS...) I think its easy to assume that other people can manage their life and their work effortlessly. Maybe some can. I am not one of those people. I will be able to grasp a shred of clarity before its quickly snatched from me. I will evolve and change an aspect of myself that has been prohibiting joy only to find another barrier from it directly under the one I just peeled off and discarded. Maybe this is my nature, because I foster and prioritize growth or perhaps this is just the nature of being human and I do not resist or distract it away. Either way, I think I just accept the relativity—the lightness and darkness—of life. I dont have any disillusion when it comes to joy or happiness. I know that as high as I can be is as low as I can be. I know that on the other side of joy is pain. I know that where there is forgiveness and light, there was once resistance and dark. So, while I am throwing a bit of a tantrum about not being able to write and worrying that I will never write anything worthwhile ever again and wah wah wah me, I am also remembering how many times I have felt this way before and how much that has made the great moments even greater. (Just to give you an idea of how quickly I can go from YAY to self-doubt, during the time it took me to write this update, I have convinced myself I shouldnt post it. I dont want you guys to know I struggle like this. So, on that note... publish...)
Posted on: Mon, 12 Jan 2015 04:04:11 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015