Its interesting how a thing as ordinary as a movie can cause your eyes to open over something very introspective. I thought Id seen virtually every Western thats appeared on the Silver Screen. Yesterday, however, I happened to catch Monte Walsh with Tom Selleck for the very first time. When it was over, I realized a whole lot more about myself that Id even begun to imagine. Not only am I a man who has managed to dodge death many times over, but I am simply living in an era that is well beyond my time. Ive been going through the whole self-realization thing about becoming old. It has effected me in many ways. LIfe is weird, at least mine is. It isnt as if we suddenly awake one morning and have an epiphany that we are terminally old, that we are well into the downhill side of our earthy existence. Rather its a slow dawning that creeps in from day to day until we grasp that our High Noon is coming to a inevitable showdown, and the Grim Reaper is our foe. Some might think this is depressing... I do not; its merely a reality check. When it comes to depression, she has been a near constant mistress for the past 50 years, especially the last thirty. I accept that and deal with it. Instead, this realization is liberating... It gives the concept of a Bucket List much more allure. If companies are stupid enough to give me credit, then who am I not to max them all out? I identify with Monte Walsh, not because Im a rootin-tootin-shootin cowboy, but because he too comes to a similar realization and he embraces it. I was brought into this world by Dr. Ward at the tail-end of the Second World War, and in the first half of the 20th century. Most of my productive, and some not so productive, years came during the second half of the century... Now, I am pretty well into the 21st century and I dont even know what a hashtag is, or twitter. I am a virtual man without a country... Well, not a country, per se, but a shadow wandering around in a time warp. I know where Im bound; thats one of lifes certainties -- along with taxes. For now, Im in no hurry to arrive, nor do I know of a scheduled appointment. When I wander these troubled streets no more, I only hope that some shall remember me as a decent and simple man, one who had a strong dislike for injustice, and one who carried a burden because he had escaped suffering when so many better Americans of his generation had not. If you read this, Im sorry.... I didnt really write it for anyone else, other than myself. It is a personal recognition of self-discovery and an acceptance of a space in time when fate allows me to flow, ghost-like among those who are filled with life and looking toward their futures. In the list of my lifes accomplishments, there are but a mere pittance, however, it is sufficient to me that Ive led an honorable life, given respect to those Ive admired, and been blessed by an undeserved bounty of family and friends. Tell those who ask, He was a relic from the past and he was a fairly decent man.
Posted on: Wed, 19 Nov 2014 18:48:29 +0000
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