Its late & time for bed. One last thought. Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.-Oscar Wilde And always remember, it is truly not about you. Whatever it is, it just isnt about you. So nearly 20 years ago, I was sharing with 3 married women (I was single and working full time and going to school full time) how much I loved cooking late at night (after 9 PM) to wind down from my day. I received a wall of negative response from them. Apparently, I loved to cook because I was too naive to realize cooking is actually a chore and that husbands and children are ungrateful and it is such a burden to come up with new dinners every night. Love to chop vegetables? Are you kidding? I received this wall of venom and hate spewed my way. I wasnt sure where their meanness was coming from and certainly confused as to why it was directed at me. I took it personally. I felt left out. They finally said and agreed with their ring leader I dont see you ever having kids, Molly. You wouldnt be a good mom. Youll never get married. Who says that to someone else? Mean people suck. I was stunned. I was hurt and confused. Why would these women take time out of their day to be so mean to me? Oh...I had my future BEFORE me. I had a million directions to go. They were STUCK. It took me nearly 20 years to really figure out their perspective. Apparently, I too was stuck in a perspective of feeling badly! I couldnt grasp how a conversation about my joy in creating my big ol bowl of veggie soup culminated in such bitter angry, snide remarks. But, yes, they saw themselves as stuck. And being stuck, they did the one thing that empowered them: they excluded me and they bonded over their misery. I recently heard about those 3 women. Sadly and I say with compassion in my heart, that they are all still stuck in their lives and in their exact same jobs. Thank you, ladies, for excluding me and recognizing that I am nothing like you. I love being a mom and wife and I still love to cook. And honey, I am not stuck. Joyfully yours, Molly
Posted on: Thu, 29 May 2014 07:36:14 +0000