Its like I am so much a little bit of everything, that I am in all a whole lot of not enough of anything. Lately I have been feeling like I dont belong here...like maybe I am from another place or dimension, but not in a good way. Not like Superman...more like I am nothing grandiose or spectacular like most people who say stuff like that. They begin getting delusional and all. I am not saying this like I have finally lost my last marble or anything...I am halfway not serious...what I mean kinda is like I read somewhere how some people actually are meant to feel like this. Like certain alignment of the stars birth type or genealogy that is not indigenous to this planet...the small percent of the organism that doesnt mesh or vibe...the virus the rest of the body quarantines and isolates. I know that is probably not what is really going on inside of me, it is just the environment I have come to exist in. The good news though that made me smile a little, earlier tonight when I was dwelling on this is that I had to be like Yo alright self, now ok...and? Accept it now so it doesnt become a burden for nothing. Never let the small shit grow into a stupid irrelevant issue that becomes a stress factor and shortens your lifespan...like a buddy once told me in conversation...if you know you cant pay the car note halfway through the month, then simply put it out of your mind look at the shine of the sky and smile...for if you cant do anything about a problem...then do the one thing you can do...put it out of your mind totally. It is for your own benefit if you learn this way of thinking...it has changed me demeanor some as I am practicing it still myself. But all in all I had to tell myself...AND??? LIKE YOU HAVENT BEEN AN OUTCAST FOR HALF YOUR LIFE NOW! I can still win, I have still overcame at times...and I can say one thing about this man/alien/ghost right here...say what you will..dog me if it makes you feel better for I am probably by now one of the best equipped to handle it...but one thing you cant say about me without lying is that I have ever given up...and I guess I am the only one who knows how strong of an assurance I say that with and know it to be true by. What do kill you makes you strong...but I would say when you dont even really need to be strong anymore to have no worries..I guess you just smile in the face of Death and Sunshine ;) -Bj Fard The Great Won.
Posted on: Mon, 20 Oct 2014 09:04:54 +0000
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