Its that time of year again, so just a friendly guide for those of you who rarely go out to pubs unless its Christmas! Firstly, remember that everyone in every pub just wants to have a good time, and if its not to your taste, then dont spoil it for yourselves and anyone else by staying! Theres plenty more out there! Dont bang on to the staff about how they must be looking forward to the holidays, we wont get a days rest until January 7th. Dont go saying Come on Love, Give us a smile to the girls behind the bar when your drink fuelled libido kicks in - theyre knackered, probably have another 3 hours to go, and are more likely to kiss the pub dog than you. Please dont swear. You dont need to impress anyone with your Anglo-Saxon vernacular. It doesnt endear you to anyone, and youre probably older than 14. No we dont want a Jager Bomb. Thanks. Please order your Guinness first, it takes two minutes to serve properly in a pub, unlike the 2 seconds when you pour it out of the can. And no it isnt ready yet, we know what were doing. No we dont do cocktails, unless you want a pint of Light & Bitter. Please dont take your glasses out with you, we need them, and taking them is theft. Yes it is a lovely pub, no we dont know why you dont come here more often, and yes we definitely look forward to seeing you much more next year. Which is what you said last Christmas. Do buy the staff a drink, but dont be offended if they just take the cash, not all of them are behind the bar because it is a labour of love. What time is she on til? About 45 minutes after the last customer leaves as we have to clean the place up for tomorrow. No you cant wait, sorry. And finally, if the Licensee asks you to leave, its not because hes being a F***ing Tw*t, its because you are. Have a Merry Christmas, please dont do anything foolish, and please respect and thank all the bar staff working tonight (and every other day of the year) who are trying their best to make this an enjoyable, friendly evening for everyone. Cheers!
Posted on: Wed, 24 Dec 2014 12:00:09 +0000
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