Its the Solstice! For us in the north, the long slide into deeper darkness is over (until the next one - hahaha) For me, this is the true New Years Eve. The only useful thing I did yesterday was fill the woodbox. I had three naps, played 87,000 games of Puzzly Words, read in bed, ate and watched tv, stared out the window, looked at the pile of laundry, stared at Steves painting, watched the phone ring, gazed at the sink, and did not beat myself up. It felt a bit like a long slow breath. Im curious, really curious, about what this coming year holds for me. I am mostly certain (as certain as a human can be) of a few external changes - Im curious about the internal ones. Im curious about what I might learn, about the layers that will peel off in this constant journey of discovery/uncovery/recovery vacation we call life. I read some great lines last night in Flight Behaviour by Barbara Kingsolver : It was hard to feel the remotest sympathy for any of the different fools she had been. As opposed to the fool she was probably being now. People hung on for dear life to that one, she thought: the fool they are right now. ... In one transcendent moment buoyed by about two ounces of Reisling she saw the pointlessness of clinging to that life raft, that hooray-we-are-saved conviction of having already come through the stupid parts, to arrive at the current enlightenment. The hard part is letting go, she could see that. There is no life raft; youre just freaking swimming all the time. Today Im saluting the fool I am, giggling at my imaginary life raft - the one I make to deal with my self-created fear of the depth of water beneath me and the ocean of air above me and the fool that I am in the midst of all of this. Life is one big giggle fest. Happy Solstice my fellow foolish human friends!
Posted on: Sun, 21 Dec 2014 15:52:35 +0000
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