Its the choices we make consciously and subconsciously that determine when and even if we will heal. We are each given the opportunity over and over and over again to mother ourself. To care for ourself the way we wished/hoped/prayed/expected that others would care for us in light of our beloveds death. And what Ive come to realize is that one way one huge way we can mother ourself is by continuing to care for those we love who have left their physical bodies. Those we love who have died. Yesterday, as I was driving past our neighborhood school park I saw my friend Gretchen decorating two trees with pink and black and silver ornaments. These two trees stood on either side of a pink-pink bench that Gretchen and her husband Scott dedicated last spring on the one-year anniversary of their beloved daughter Sophies death. Gretchen was doing what she does best. She makes the ordinary beautifully extra-ordinary. Gretchen was hanging these handcrafted, glittery ornaments that included butterflies and dragonflies and hummingbirds on Sophies trees. Each one hung with love. So much love. Gretchen smiled and said, I know you are going to think I am crazy, Tom. Not at all Gretchen. Not at all. Thank you for showing us how to honor our beloveds to honor ourself to honor our love and to honor life itself. Thank you for being a teacher. There is a new way to do grief. A way that allows us to move WITH the deaths of our beloveds. Join us at facebook/tomzuba1
Posted on: Sat, 13 Dec 2014 18:56:16 +0000
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