Its the last day of the longest year I can remember. I wish at the end of it I didnt still cry every time I drive past exits and streets that bring heavy reminders. But I did today. I was walking into the grocery store and I saw a woman sleeping on the ground in a corner. She had just a couple of bags with her but at least some warm clothes. I thought, thankfully its not too cold today. When I bought my lunch I got a big container of warm mac n cheese for her. When I went to give it to her, she was sleeping so soundly I couldnt disturb her. She had so little and yet looked so at peace in whatever dream she was in. I dont know how to dream. I placed the bag at her side and left. I hope she found it when she awoke. Then on this long drive, I paid the bridge fare for the vehicle behind me - not because Im so nice but because I needed to give someone else out there a better day than I was having. You see, one of my best friends is moving across the country tomorrow and he keeps trying to make me believe hes not leaving me but I cant make him understand why it seems he is. We are told spend time with people because you never know when theyll be gone. Leaving isnt always when someone dies. And this past year he did try to spend time with me but I didnt have a clue that soon he wouldnt be near enough to do so. Ive been just awful to him, hes been receiving the blunt end of my pent up grief. I dont know if I can repair that, but I had to leave this year somehow making a difference somewhere. So, Im not posting this because I want to brag about my good deeds, but because this is my mirror that I look into every day.
Posted on: Wed, 31 Dec 2014 23:23:40 +0000
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