Its unnecessary for a gay couple to be monogamous. Its like depending on an employment contract. I think I have always done better on the open market, in love, as in work. My work stands on its own two feet. My skills in partnering serve me well. Tim and I have an open relationship. You cant keep a cowboy if you tie him down. But Im pretty sure he has not strayed very far or often since October 2010, when we started to get closer in a gay sense. However, our open relationship does not mean that he is not jealous of other guys attention to me. But his possessiveness started well before then, when we were just running buddies. One time, he actually tripped a guy who tried to run beside me in the park. Tim and I run together in close formation. He tries to justify his jealousy by explaining that I need protection from the wrong sort of people. Tim is a much snobbier than I am. Fortunately, I fall within his protected circle. Tim has the worlds best sense of humor. I often mention that although Tim and I are civil union partners, we do not love each other. We are guys. But I cannot deny that we get great pleasure in each others company. I do not quite understand the notion that you have to work at partnerships. I find it easier to just go with the flow, so to speak, with Tim. Our buddyship went on autopilot years ago. We seem to be a natural couple. When Madame Nu, the fortune teller out in Aurora, told us we were destined to be married, we first thought she meant to girls. We had run all the way out there, so we stopped to consult Madame on an impulse. Tim and I decided to run together before we actually knew each others names. He called me variously Teddy, Curly (for my curly blond hair) or Buddy, as the mood struck him. I called him Captain or Skipper. Anyway, back to the fortune teller in Aurora. When Madame explained she meant that we would be married to each other, we thought she was gaga. But Madame knew. Its strange looking back now, but we thought the idea of having gay physicality with each other was hilarious. Tim admitted much later that he had thought about it two or three months before I did. His therapist told Tim later that his interest in me was always homoerotic, but we did not know that at the time. I never even saw him without clothes on for nearly a year. I wore Tims shirts as a sort of friendship symbol. Tim used to say we became partners when we first had gay physicality. But later on, he and his therapist decided our real anniversary was August 25, the day we met. * By that standard, we have been partners five years, four months and two weeks. * I used to be jealous of Tims therapist. He persuaded Tim to explore the nature of his feelings toward me and the possibility of having codependency issues. But my buddyship with Tim survived Tims therapy. Sadly that is not always the case with many gay guys in relationships. I have a healthy skepticism about therapy as a method of improving your life experience. My main goals in life are joy, deep satisfaction and happiness, hopefully shared with a partner. Normality is the least of my concerns.
Posted on: Fri, 09 Jan 2015 03:01:47 +0000
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