It’s been a rough week. I had a little screw up and fell off the proverbial spiritual beam. Once I’m on the spiritual path and I step ever so slightly off it I recognize immediately that I made a mistake as the feeling I get is quite intense. Usually if I’m off the beam I don’t write a post because I like to be well-centered in God before I write anything. But I thought I would share that my humanness kicked in and I screwed up. Maybe others out there can relate to me. So like I said when I stray from my spiritual journey I know right away and this time was no different. But what happened to me this time doesn’t happen to me much. I started to doubt my faith. I asked myself how someone with all the faith I supposedly have could screw up like this and that it’s apparent my faith is lacking. That actually is not the case but that is where my thinking was taking me. That I’m a screw up. I’m no good, I’m a sinner and on and on it went. Finally after much reflecting I realized I forgot about God in my thinking. I was thinking as Kevin thinks and not as God does. So for a moment I thought it was up to me to correct this all by myself. I forgot that God understands when I screw up and even forgives me way before I forgive myself. I forgot that I have been given God’s grace which is an undeserved gift. I know after many occasions of screwing up that if I trust in God He will take me to better things as He always does. How soon I forget this. All this means to me is I have much more work to do but as my new mantra says “With God, All things are possible.” That leaves nothing out. I need to brand this saying on my forehead so it is always in the forefront of my mind. With just me trying to change things is probably impossible but with God nothing is impossible. So I’m going to pick myself up, brush myself off, ask God for help and go on trying to be the best I can be. I’m not trying to be better than anyone else, I’m just trying to be better than I used to be. So if anyone out there seems to fall, make a mistake or screw up, please remember that God always forgive and we never have to go through anything alone for He is always at our side. I just thought that since I could feel doubt I know that others might feel doubt also. I know now not to beat myself up for having doubt as that is a normal human emotion. What I need to remember is even though that is normal to feel that way if I am trying to live a spiritual life I have to remember I always have God’s help. May God’s peace be upon you.
Posted on: Mon, 31 Mar 2014 20:13:22 +0000
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