Ive always have trouble sleeping on Wednesday nights. Sometimes, its so bad that I find myself staring at the ceiling way past midnight and no matter how exhausted I am, sleep still eludes me. Most people who have insomnia have little or no idea what causes their restlessness but I know, yes, I know exactly from where my issues arise. I guess that you could say that I suffered a traumatic experience at an early age. 5th grade to be exact. I know the day well because it has not only terrorized me for most of my life but will continue to do so until the day that I die.....why is this you ask....Ill tell you why. It all started much like any other childhood psychotic episode....with a circus. You see, when I was little the circus came to town. I remember seeing the trucks roll up Washington Street and unload at the old high school football practice field just east of the baseball park. Back then it was little more than a mosquito infested swamp where the football team took turns running into each other. I never understood the fascination with rolling around in the mud wearing full pads until years later when I got a chance to do it myself but at that time it was just a big empty field. I remember just sitting in the outfield and watching them put up the bigtop. It was an amazing thing to see especially for an 11 year old that had never had the chance to see teamwork before. Anyway......I went home that night and asked my parents if they would take me to the circus on Saturday but neither was interested. My dad said something to the effect of, If youve seen one clown , youve seen them all and my mom muttered something about elephant poop. I was out of luck and as down as a duck on a junebug. I new that on Monday morning every kid would have great circus stories to tell at lunch and my only friend would be that yucky butterscotch pudding they served just to make us appreciate spinach....Blech! :P It was a dismal Friday morning when I headed off to school. My social life was done, my adventure to end all adventure was nothing more than a pipedream. But then!......hope arrived on the horizon. A fine representative from the Carson and Barnes 5 Ring extravaganza had come to school with a handful of Free Tickets for underprivileged kids with grumpy parents. This guy was an expert one parental anti-social maladies and new that if he gave out free tickets to kids that their parents would feel obligated to buy a real ticket and spend some of that hard earned cash that they had hidden in the sock drawer and were saving for a rainy day. I can still remember the feel of it when he placed it in my grubby little mits. It was light green an cool to the touch......He looked down at me and said. Make sure you bring your parents. I remember looking up at him and realizing that he looked kind of like some villain out of an old silent movie. He had beat up stovepipe hat and his moustache was as greasy as Zorros hatband . I was for sure that he had probably sold his little brother to gypsies for spending money. I had personally considered doing the same but I knew that my mom would take after me with a piss elm switch if any of my siblings turned up missing so I refrained from doing it, but I was for certain that he had. The guy gave me the creepy crawlies.......But I didnt care. I now had a ticket to the Saturday matinee. When I got home I presented my case as well as the best defense attorney could have managed, but it fell on deaf ears......My dad said something about stupid clowns and my mom grumbled something vilifying elephant poop. It was a not to be, but then, just as all hope had faded, my dad opened up his wallet I could swear it actually squeaked like an old door) and tossed me a five dollar bill. All he said was have fun and dont take any wooden nickles What in the hell was a wooden nickle.....hell who cares, I was going to the circus.....by myself. Woo Hoo! I could barely sleep that night. The next morning, I popped up like toast and was headed for the mean streets of Hamburg. I figured that I had a few hours to kill, so I headed down to the city park to hang out with my boys but they were not to be found so I decided to go take a peek at the circus. I had five bucks and and a new haircut.....what could possibly go wrong. When I got there I was amazed.....tents and people everywhere. I was happy to just walk around and soak up the sights and eventually I ended up at the one place my mother said to stay away from........the Freak Show. I walked right into something akin to the twilight zone. There were strange wagons set up on each side of a temporary alleyway like faded wheeled stores on the bad side of town. I read the signs and oggled at the people......Fat ladies, human torches, sword swallower, snake charmers......you name it.....they had it. I had no idea which one I wanted to see.......until I heard a voice beckoning me. There, on the steps of a wagon, was a beautiful woman and according to the sign her name was Madam Zorna the fortune teller. She was about 25 or 50.....hell, I couldnt tell but there was just something about her that caught my attention like a pacifier at a baby contest. Her dark eyes and ruby red lips held me captive. Mesmerized, I walked towards her. I could not resist her exotic spell.....I was only eleven years old but I was very aware of what girls were and this one was part tiger with a pinch of cobra all wrapped up in beads and silk.....my five dollars was as good as gone. As I handed it to her, I knew that I had failed my father.....I had fallen into sinful thoughts and although my punishment would not be eternal damnation, I was going to get hungry later. No peanuts, cotton candy or popcorn for this kid. I would surely starve. So I entered the wagon and she started reading my fortune. She looked deep into her crystal ball and talked about things that could apply to anyone. I was young but I was no fool. I had been had. She was about as specific as a Chinese fortune cookie.....stuff like you will find happiness if you succeed....study hard and you will find fortune I was pissed.....screw that. I needed to know important stuff like.....would I ever hit five feet tall and would any girl ever like me enough to kiss me Damn.....I had just wasted five dollars of my dads hard earned money. It took him a whole day of hard labor at the salt mines to make it ( I realized later that he lied....jerk) and I had spent it on a floozy wearing rings so big that they would embarrass even the Avon lady. What a disaster....my shame would be legendary. Then, just as I was ready to leave, she reached up and grabbed my hand. Her eyes rolled back and she ran her long red fingernail down the palm of my hand. She then said....... you will die just before midnight on a Wednesday Holy crap! That was not something that I wanted to hear. I pulled my hand back and ran out of the wagon. Just between you and me.....it scare the living sh!t out of me. I ran away and just sat in the dugout shivering like someone had just stepped on my grave. I managed to get up enough nerve to go to the circus but I didnt enjoy it. My mind was preoccupied....how would I die? Old age?......Zombies?......would I be ran over by a garbage truck? So you see......I have a problem getting to sleep on Wednesday nights. The older that I get, the worse that it gets. I try to stay up until midnight so that I will at least have a chance to duck, dodge or parry whatever fate sends my way. Will tonight be the night? Your guess is as good as mine but just the same.......I wont be going to sleep early. Not tonight......no way....no how.....if its going to happen then I want to see it coming. The last thing that I want to do is die in my sleep and then wake up dead. So thats my story...........................Ill sleep on Thursday. Thats a good day to sleep
Posted on: Wed, 10 Sep 2014 23:40:18 +0000
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