Ive been asked by MANY what had happened to Khloe and I havent responded because truth is I didnt even know what happened to my sweet girl until the last month. After fighting hard with the hospital to get her medical records released I finally have the answers I have been looking for and I am making my peace with god, the medical team and life itself. So here goes, this is Khloes story. Dossen announced on Christmas Eve last year we were expecting our little girl May 2014. I couldnt have been more excited and thrilled! I had been blessed with my little man and now I was blessed with a daughter I had always wanted. In January while getting my routine sonogram, she noticed I had a single vessel cord but Khloe was showing no signs of it being a complication so I was just monitored even more closely and saw my OB a little more than usual. In February of this year while getting another ultrasound the ultrasound tech noticed her heart had an irregular valve and beat so I was sent to a specialist. The specialist did a fetal echo cardiogram and reassured me she was just fine and didnt see what my OBs office had seen. He was soooo wrong..... Khloe was measuring a little small but me being as tiny as I am and her being a girl they said it was nothing to worry about. May 14, 2014 at my routine check up my amniotic fluid was getting low so they decided to take her that evening instead of May 23, 2014. Khloe was born at 8:33pm weighing in at 5 pounds 2 ounces and 18 inches long.Dark hair full of curls and even with her being as tiny as she was she was a chunky little thing, First time i heard her cry my heart melted and I was thrilled she was finally here. The first thing i heard the doctor say was that she had a clef palate. My heart sunk, I knew it was fixable but as a mom you dont want your children to go through anything that they typically wouldnt have to go through and i knew that surgery was going to eventually happen. When Brandon brought her to me for the first time i was still strapped down while they finished my c-section. I noticed she was breathing funny and almost had an aspiration sound coming from her. He took her back over to the doctors and she was whisked away to the NICU. After I was in post op, I had to wait 6 hours to even hold her for the first time. I was discharged after 3 days and leaving the hospital with an empty car seat was by far the hardest thing I had to go through at that point. We met with many doctors cardiologist, ear nose and throat, neonatologist, and genetic specialists. When Khloes was 5 days old we were told that one of her 18th chromosomes had an abnormality and it was a very rare syndrome that she had been diagnosed with.Chromosome 18 Ring (not edwards syndrome), She had multiple issues wrong with her heart but never once were we told it would be fatal and she would never need heart surgery we would just have to learn to adapt to a different lifestyle with her. My heart was broken..... My dreams and wishes for her beautiful life had been crushed. Although the news came hard, we accepted this and continued to plan her life accordingly, I told Stacy about her chromosome syndrome and made sure they were ok still being the sole beneficiaries and care takers of my children had something happened to me. They didnt hesitate for a second knowing the road and life Khloe would have had. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! I couldnt wait to get her home and finally have my family together. Dossen was thrilled he finally had his little sister that he had been so excited for, for so many months he patiently waited for her. Shawn and Stacy and had been planning to be there for the birth of their god daughter, but since they took her early they still managed to come on the 22 of May after having their flights delayed and cancelled. When they flew in we went home and they showered and got cleaned up to make sure they didnt bring anything into the NICU. Doss was excited to introduce his sister to their god parents. It was the first time in 5 days Khloe opened her eyes, reached out and made it apparent she was there and wanted us to know. Doss really wanted his Uncle Shawn to hold her and he was very hesitant because she was so tiny. Doss looked at him and said But Uncle Shawn it makes you feel so good inside to hold her. Well it worked and he held her and I thank god for Dossens little persuasive ways! Stacy held Khloe and she spit up all over her, we laughed and it was a great moment for all of us to be together and have some of my family there to celebrate her birth. We left the hospital that night and never did i imagine the phone call I would have received 12 hours later. May 23, 2014 forever changed my life and the lives of many others. I received a phone call at 10:02 am, we were all getting ready for the day and to head up to the hospital. The nurse called and said We just called a code on Khloe, you guys need to get here. Shawn, Brandon and Doss were out walking the dog and Stacy and I were getting ready. I rushed outside and found them and Brandon and I rushed to the hospital. Half way there the hospital called again, it was Khloes nurse, her words haunt me and kill me to this day. Where are you guys we are keeping Khloe alive until you get here. I went numb, we arrived at the hospital. A group of the staff were waiting outside for us. They took our car and rushed us up the back way to the 3rd floor to the NICU. When we walked into Khloes room there was at least 15-20 people in there working on her. As soon as they saw me everything was stopped she was placed in my arms where she took her last breath at 10;33 am on May 23. I laid with her for hours at the hospital not wanting to leave. Knowing that would be the last time i would ever hold, kiss, or touch my daughter. Shawn and Stacy had taken Dossen to the zoo that day while we figured this all out. They arrived I went out and explained to Dossen the best I could with what had happened. He lost it and didnt understand what was going on. He said god didnt think he was gonna be a good enough big brother and took her away, to he lost his best friend and hes alone again. We all went in and said our good byes and left the hospital. Up until the last few weeks I have been told over and over again that We dont know what happened to Khloe, sorry for your loss. The hospital never returned my phone calls, cut me out, and cut my OB out. My psychiatrist is also an MD and has been on the hospital since the day I started going to her in August when I returned back to Oregon. After Khloes death Brandon and I deteriorated. I grieved hard and still do, he didnt know how to or how to accept what had happened and asked me to come back to Oregon. Finally, in the last month I found out that the hospital started Khloe on heart failure medication on May 21, and it was documented that she was in grave condition. NEVER once were we told about this, NEVER once were we told it would be fatal, NEVER once were we told our daughter could possibly die. In my heart I have known something was wrong I thought mal-practice but it was lack of communication, the day Khloe died her heart went into tachycardia, over 300 beats a minute. After doing everything they could non medication wise, she was administered medication and in the process of it her heart was correcting itself. She crashed...... by the time the got her base lined again she had lost so much oxygen to her tissues and organs there was no hope and I thank god that she was able to pass in her mothers arms and not in the hands of the medical team. Other than the HUGE lack of communication with her heart failing they were good to her and us. I am so incredibly thankful for my AMAZING support system. Between my family and friends, and ESPECIALLY Shawn and Stacy for being here for doss and I through this all, I couldnt have made it without you guys, all in all count your blessings, love your littles and really learn to appreciate everyday. You dont know when it will be your last or someone you love will be gone. Ive learned to appreciate and VALUE life more than ever and Im so very thankful to each and everyone one of you that has reached out to me! Dont hesitate to ask or want to know about Khloe. I love talking about her and I dont want her forgotten......... Khloes saved me in alot of ways that alot of people wouldnt understand. Doss and I are doing great and yes its still hard and no in time it doesnt get better because him and I lost alot this last year, but it gets more manageable and finding our new normal has become easier. So to those many many people that have asked about Khloe here you are. Dont think you upset me by asking and dont be upset when I didnt respond. I just only knew as much as everyone else. Stay blessed, stay humbled. Love hard and pure.............. Khloes life tribute........ Beautiful memories, beautiful moments, beautiful music and best of all MY BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN!!!!!!!!
Posted on: Sun, 07 Dec 2014 07:52:59 +0000
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