Ive been pretty negative lately as some of you have probably seen - TopicsExpress

Ive been pretty negative lately as some of you have probably seen in some of my post. I use to be a news junky, news papers, Internet, TV, I couldnt get enough of politics, world news, local news, economy, job market, stock markets. Then my depression hit, I no longer could watch TV or read the paper, I couldnt read it on the Internet. It pushed me deeper into depression and into panic attacks. I would read things about unknown world out breaks and the word pandemic caused me to not be able to breath or touch door knobs. All while having to prepare myself for training as an EMT and a Firefighter. Then the breaking point when one day I got ready to leave for work and I couldnt walk thru the door. Countless days I got ready for work and couldnt leave the house. I could no longer function as a man, let alone a Fireman or an EMT. I couldnt go to a play with my wife because when I got there I couldnt go in the building. I distanced myself from family and friends because I was ashamed of who I had become. I turned to God and music and got rid of the news of the world. God says, be in this world but dont be of this world. So for many years I havent listened to much news. Elections were extremely difficult for me because I have always thought it was my Patriotic Duty to be informed. Ive distanced myself. Well Ive noticed by just scrolling down facebook Im getting more and more news shoved in my brain, world news, Politics, etc. I realized this was happening to me a couple of days ago, so I have distanced myself from fb a little. Trying not to click on the news post. Im going to try to be more positive, I hate being so negative. There was a band in the 80s called Petra that sang a song called garbage in, garbage out. Meaning if you fill your mind with garbage, the only thing that will come out of your mouth is...garbage. So if you see me posting political things or talking about political things, shoot me a message and ask me to check myself and Ill try to reign it back in. But I have to stay positive, because I can be really ugly negative.

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