Ive been struck by many comments made in connection with the tragic death of comic icon Robin Williams. So many people on Facebook identify with his struggles with depression, and they offer an empathy thats profound and courageous. Some have shared their stories with me in whole or in part, and some are only now intimating of a darkness in their lives that renders them uniquely sensitive to one who also suffered. It wasnt too many years ago that those suffering from depression were dismissed as being weak, with men especially being told to grow a pair. But we know more these days, or at least I hope we do. The terrible pain, agony and lonely despair that depression stemming from mental illness or disorder produces is no less real than that from a physical injury or illness. My boyhood best friend committed suicide eight years ago under just such circumstances, and he was a lot like Robin Williams: A supremely talented, handsome, funny and charming guy who nevertheless had a secret that drove him to reject help and love and take his life instead. What should we have done -- what should I have done -- to prevent it? Ive thought a lot about it over the years, and Ive come to the conclusion that the answer in his case is nothing -- his hole was so deep and so black that nothing could fill or illuminate it to give him a way out. What we can do, however, is be aware of those around us in order to be there for them should they find themselves going down that dark road, just as we hope someone will be there for us. For those who hurt because they are alone, we can offer friendship and an ear. For those struggling with insurmountable challenges, we can offer a hand or encouragement as they go through their own version of the valley of the shadow. I know that when I went through mine, thats what I hungered for more than anything else. Robin Williams made us laugh, and we mourn his passing. He left a wife and children, and to them condolences are extended. He was unique, a real American original. But if he is to leave a legacy let it not be just his monumental body of work -- let it also be our deepening awareness that even someone so gifted, talented and successful can succumb to ugly demons. If it can happen to him, it can happen to anyone. That it is happening to you doesnt mean youre any less of a person because you are among good company. If community means anything, then let it be an awareness of and openness to what others experience and how we can be there for them.
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 01:25:25 +0000
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