Ive been struggling for several months. Struggling with the recovery from my broken arm and the loss of a good friend. Ive had a bad case of the why mes and why hims Also struggling with the resulting crushing depression caused by these things. Im sorry it took me so long to put my finger on it and apologize to anyone it has affected. I had a good friend who I used to work with and he called me occasionally and especially around the holidays to check on me. I watched this guy be slowly and painfully ravaged by cancer but right up until two weeks before we lost him he still managed to make me laugh til my cheeks hurt. I visited him in person two days before he passed and that day has had a devastating effect on me although I didnt realize it until now. We are born helpless and all too often leave this world the same way . Ive chosen to remember the conversation two weeks earlier instead, when we commiserated about how the pain meds made it so we couldnt poop and were both now literally full of shit. He always asked about my kids and I his but his heart was broken over the death of his daughter to a drunk driver a year earlier. Since he died its been suggested that God gave him cancer because his daughter needed him up in heaven and Id like to think thats true. Selfishly though I dont look forward to the coming holidays without that funny phone call from my friend. I know how blessed I am with an abundance of family, friends, and my beautiful wife but at times the sheer injustice of the last year in my friends life leaves me feeling angry and sad. Its often hard for people who have always been the life of the party to deal with depression but I will overcome this. My hope is that anyone dealing with similar situations can read this and just know that they are not alone. Life is extremely unjust and way to often bad things happen to good people but that is what tests our strength and resolve. Emerging from these tests is sometimes all we have to feel accomplished in life. Money and success are all wonderful things but relating to other human beings on a human level is what bonds us together. We are all strong and weak together. Something to hold your head up high and be proud of . Thankyou to all my friends and family for constantly letting me know youre watching over me, as annoying as I find that at times. I see and hear you and I appreciate you all .
Posted on: Sat, 01 Nov 2014 18:07:40 +0000
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