Ive been wanting to go out, experience life, and discover who I am for a very long time. Even though I have my own place and few obligations to hold me back, I still have few options available to me because I have so little money. Where I am is a nice place to be, for the most part. Its centralized to nearly everywhere I would need to go, so its easy enough to walk to the bank, Wal-Mart, the mall, AllSups, etc., and walking on my own is something I enjoy doing. The rent is fairly reasonable, though I can barely afford it. The size of the apartment is a good one, and even though I would like a bigger space, its not cramped, and most everything has somewhere it can go; I dont need to keep everything in boxes and wonder where something is. And, of course, I have the freedom to do what I want on a whim, whether it be walking around, playing my music, shopping, etc.; you know, whenever, wherever. Sometimes it can be a little lonely, but Ive gotten to like the solitary lifestyle. I can tolerate others company just fine, and sometimes I even have fun, but I usually prefer to be by myself and not be bothered. You know, be able to just think, read, space out, whatever I feel like doing at the time. My freedom is something I greatly value, and if I had the money, I would definitely take advantage of. I have the freedom, but alas, I have no money, and so my options for using it (the freedom, not the money) are greatly reduced, but both my identity and my freedom are still essentially the only things I have that are completely mine. In losing one, I would surely lose the other. Ive been trying to form my own identity, free from the negative influences of others (and there have been few positive ones to absorb), my entire life, and I still havent even scratched the surface of who I can potentially become. There are entirely too many things Ive not yet learned, too many places unexplored, and too many experiences left unseen, unfelt, and undone. I often feel like a bird without wings on an airplane field. Free to hop around the confines of the fence and see what little there is to see, and free to watch as others soar into the sky to parts unknown. But also yearning to be able to take flight itself, and not even having the option to. The humans around here are nice enough, I supposes. it thinks as it watches them scurry along to wherever theyre headed. Theyll occasionally give me a piece of bread, pat my head, smile, and take care not to flatten me when they notice Im around, but I still have to hop like mad to keep from getting stepped on by the ones who dont watch where theyre going. If only I had wings like the other birds do, the little bird thinks as it sees another plane take off. then I could feel the wind against my face as I soar above the clouds. Gravity would just be an option to me, then, instead of a prison. I hope someday I can also fly. Oh, why cant I fly? I think everyone can identify with this little bird.
Posted on: Tue, 23 Dec 2014 22:55:39 +0000
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