Ive been wanting to write something since the passing of Robin Williams a few days ago, but I have been searching for the right words. People have swarmed the social media threads with their special take on Williams. They have basically fallen under two categories: 1. The genius of Williams as a comedian/actor 2. The tragedy of suicide and more poignant, the battle between the mental (illness) and spiritual. Point #1 is the easy one. I havent seen a single post denying the comedic genius of this man. Really, how could anyone? I would also point out that not only did I admire his off the cuff comedy, I adored his heartwarming empathy that he displayed in his characters (For reference, watch Patch Adams again). But, point #2 has been the one up for much debate and the one that has motivated me to throw my opinion out there. As many of you know now, my 8-year old son has been diagnosed with Aspergers as well as having severe anxiety and depression. The last two years, his behavior has escalated and has forced Jillian (who has also battled depression)!and I to do much research and soul searching. We have read much about mental illness, talked extensively with local clergy, taken Seth and all of us to counselors, and have attempted to try and see the world through my sons eyes, so we can even attempt to help him. We are not experts (I am not sure even the experts truly know all that is going on?) but we are informed. To be honest, Robin Williams death in part scares me. I have seen too many really dark things come out of my son at such an early age, that the fear of something like this happening to him at a later age is not totally impossible. It is why we are doing what we can in getting him early intervention. Many people have thrown out opinions on this subject that bother me. Not that they seem so outlandish, because I once held the same ones. (Note: this is where this becomes a bit controversial....just hang with me on my reasoning)....You know, how could someone be so selfish that they would commit suicide? or medicine is a crutch... all they need is Jesus. Let me briefly expand on just these two things: How can they be so selfish? Well let me begin by saying that for many people with mental illness, that is how they see and understand the world. They see it through their eyes only. My son, for instance, due to his black/white autistic thinking, has a huge problem seeing other peoples point of view. Everything is internalized. Much of his anxiety and depression has to do with his INABILITY to understand the social context of situations. Let me repeat that.... An inability. This doesnt mean he cant learn to cope and see the view of others.... (It can get better). It means that he doesnt have those natural social instincts as others do. Every thing he thinks he does wrong...I am the worst person. He gets 8 out of 10 questions right in school..I am stupid. He sees what he doesnt do far more than what he does do. I could give many more examples, but will just sum it up this way..... The majority of people with mental illness do not see how they effect others and when they do see something (literal or perceived) they want to literally beat themselves up about it. They dwell on what they believe are their own inadequacies. The second part is even more debatable, but I will try to concisely make my point. I will start off by saying, YES, JESUS IS THE PERSON to turn to. He can heal and yes, He does bring love, peace, comfort, and true joy. But, I will use my son as the example... He cant see Jesus. He doesnt even understand what love is. Not to toot my or Jillians horn, but I would say we do a pretty good job of loving our son. But, he will constantly say, do you love me? I mean, I think you love me, but I dont know. I will ask him (and his counselor has asked him).... What do your parents do to show you love? He literally cannot verbalize it. To him, love is shown through tangible items and he doesnt let go of anything in the past. He remembers the time I would yell at him..... To him, I wouldnt yell if I loved him because you yell because you are mad. I am not doing justice to this with one example, but I want to proceed with this: Imagine how someone who has a hard time understanding love of the people who tangibly love him the most understand the true love of this Jesus he cant see? I imagine this is probably true with many with mental illness. My son can tell you about Jesus and will say he loves Jesus. He evens prays... Not as much as I wish, but he does. But, understanding the depths of that love is not at all easy for him. Now, for the medicine part, I will just say that his medicines have helped calm him to a point that his lows are not as low. I am not proclaiming this is the ultimate answer, but I would argue that the taking of medicine does not take away your trust in Jesus. This is a much needed conversation that needs to take place, but without going into long details (I could write paragraphs on my reasoning for this), I will just give my conclusion.... Medicine, for some, is a necessary and needed tool for those battling extreme depths of their inner demons. It isnt the answer.... Jesus and their identity in him is. But, it is a tool to help get these people to a point where they can function. I want to conclude with these steps moving forward: 1. All people need (not just those with mental illness) people to tangibly love them. They need to learn about the love of Christ visibly through others. 2. We need to educate ourselves on this topic..... Not just through reading about it, but having healthy dialogue about it (Jillian and I are going to be starting a Christian based support group in this area for people...... More to come in the near future) 3. We need to understand that just because someone looks happy on the outside, that doesnt mean they are happy on the inside. People with mental diseases have a great way of masking it in some or all social arenas. 4. We need to pray specifically for those individuals we know battling this. I know this is lengthy, but believe me when I say I have much I left out. I just hope my words can in some way enlighten people out there. Writing this is therapy for me as well, for I have wrestled with these issues much the past two years. Jesus is my anchor, but I treasure and continue to need support our friends have given us. I also pray that this can be a point where at least our immediate area can make this an important topic of conversation. Thanks for reading this!!!!! To God be the glory, David
Posted on: Wed, 13 Aug 2014 16:26:03 +0000
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