Ive been watching this group for a while, and I just commented on one of the numerous laments about the frankly childish squabbling that has characterized many posts and comment threads in this group. I thought the comment might be good enough to share as a post. ------------------------------ Whenever large groups of people try to get along, there will be difficulty. In fact, the insults that members of this group occasionally hurl at each other are probably hurled at members of their own churches, when they are in a group exclusively composed of their co-communicants. This is because the vast majority of people in our world are trying to get their needs met (which is true for all people) by trying to control the behavior of other people (which is true for the vast majority). This is called External Control Psychology. It is so damaging because any attempt to control another person harms the relationship. At the same time, the most important need for any person is the need for belonging; its simply our nature to deal with life as part of a group. Thus, our attempts to control others, instead of helping meet our needs, actually makes it more difficult for us to meet our needs. What we need to do is to shift the locus of control to ourselves, and learn an internal control psychology. This is called Choice Theory by William Glasser, MD, may his memory be eternal. The only way we Orthodox and Catholics are truly going to reconcile and reunite is for us to cease trying to control each other, and to begin supporting each other. Instead of practicing the deadly habits of external control psychology, we must begin practicing the helpful habits of Choice Theory, being supportive, encouraging, etc. We must, to quote the Master, love one another, as [He] has loved us. Jesus does not condemn, criticize, etc., but rather encourages, heals, reconciles, and admonishes us to go and sin no more. When we emphasize difference where Christ is emphasizing reconciliation (seventy times seven times we are to forgive), then we are adopting an Antichrist spirit, and Antichrist is as Antichrist does. Think about that before your next comment or post. This dialogue group isnt about popes, patriarchs or presidents, i.e., neither geopolitics or ecclesiopolitics; its about Christ, his Body the church, and how we can all live in obedience to Christs prayer that we be one, as He and the Father are one. None of this is about what place the pope has in the church, or which church is colluding with which government of this world that is passing away. I was a Roman Catholic for four decades, which included seminary studies and life as a Benedictine monk for four years. At no point did it matter to me whether the pope was infallible or not, or even if he had rights as a superbishop, or epi-episkopos. As a former working liturgist, I recognize the validity, beauty and Orthodoxy in both Western and Eastern liturgies (as they are meant to be performed, even if one occasionally encounters a priest dead-set on screwing it up). Its about charity, love, being together in one place, having all things in common. IMO, we arent truly ready to resolve issues of ecclesiastical structure or theology. FWIW, since I became Orthodox Christian in my 40s, its pretty obvious that I decided (after an intermittent struggle covering two decades), that the EOC is right on these issues. Let our leaders wrangle over that; its part of why we feed them. For us, the question is not which church is right, most just, etc. The question for each and every one of us in this group is: What have you done this week to strengthen your human relationship with a Roman Catholic (if you are Orthodox Christian), or an Orthodox Christian, if you are a Roman Catholic? If your answer is nothing, then you are part of the problem.
Posted on: Wed, 17 Sep 2014 15:47:22 +0000
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