Ive gone through many phases in this life, worn many skins and shawls of Being, (as i imagine we all have). Embodying and experiencing the spectrum. Life moves in waves of phases. Sometimes each one lasts years, sometimes weeks. (Dualities of trough and wave, happy and sad, faithful and hopeless... all inevitable.) And its all alright. And this too shall pass. For quite a while i have been fortunate to feel solid in my general joy and optimism levels. But before that I spent years grieving my traumas, and working through my shadow. And before that i was joyful. And ... and... The weight of the world tries to creep in beneath the door at night, and although ive grown good at guarding my gates during this phase of Life Experience, I see many around me struggling with heavy feelings i have experienced in the not-so-distant past. We all take turns pulling each other up the ladder. Ive been a joyful optimist. Ive also felt deeply sad, hopeless, lost and depressed. Ive spent years genuinely enraptured by every last simple joy of being alive. Ive also spent years with a hovering perpetual desire to just give up Living, and just cease to exist. Ive been possessed by the Muse in gushing electrical inspiration, and ive been a dry well of misery and apathy and exhaustion. Ive felt desperately alone, and also so so so content spending time with myself and the wind Ive been an activist, out there helping everyone and joining every project out there ...., and ive been a loner, going completely within, into my bubble of inner creation and exploration. Ive drowned myself in a bucket my own stories and fears and perceptions... and Ive revelled in the power of my ability to form New perspectives and thoughts, utter them as Words, and reprogram my self imposed Spells and curses. Ive celebrated the gifts i was given and honored the gift of my Spirit, and ive also hated myself passionately and felt i wasnt good enough at anything At times Ive lost myself, floating off in a smoky haze, trying to numb the pain of lifes sufferings. At times I have felt so clearheaded and at One with the Universe that I couldnt conceive of putting a veil between myself and The Field of pure presence. Ive been friendly and outgoing, wanting to connect with everyone around me. Ive also been defensive, shy, anxious and withdrawn, wanting to be alone and not take on other peoples projections, or energy fields. Ive worried about all the chaos in the world and dug into researching it. THen ive chosen to direct my attention away from the pixels and into my own heart and surroundings and Present Moment. Ive complained and whined. And ive also owned accountability for a glass half empty or a glass half full attitude. And more often than not, have chosen the latter. All Ive learned at the end of the day is that its all relevant. And its all valuable. And its all a choice. In each moment. How to align. What to focus on. Weve all walked a mile or two in all the shoe options (I choose flippers) No experience wasted. All our experiences and emotions teach us our options of how we want to handle This Moment. Who we want to be in This Moment. And. This. Moment.
Posted on: Mon, 25 Aug 2014 07:29:20 +0000
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