Ive had a number of men ask me to text/call/email them away from the online dating site where we met. Ive also had a man tell me that he was going to let his subscription to the website expire, but would love to keep communicating via email. Its been some time since he claims to have lost the ability to message me from the site, but I can still access his profile and not only see when hes online (thanks, BBPM!), but that hes available to chat. (For those of you playing at home, this is the supposed Harvard-educated, former professor of 16th century Spanish poetry who claims to live in Cambridge, MA.) Turns out, this tactic is part of a scam that commonly works two ways. 1) The scammer establishes a relationship with his target. Because he says he lives in another state or country and he really wants to meet her, but cant swing an airline ticket right now, she offers to buy the ticket. He then cancels the flight and pockets the refund. 2) The scammer says he has children and/or an elderly parent. After hes set the stage, his nonexistent loved one suddenly has a medical emergency. The compassionate and love-blind victim offers to pay for whatever procedure the fictional family member needs, which the con artist finally agrees to, and is never heard from again. Today, a witty and sweet artist with two teenaged sons who lives nearby told me hes going to let his subscription lapse, but hes very interested, and would like to continue getting to know me through texts/phone calls/email. About an hour later, a cute, funny, smart man who lives in the Bay Area wrote me to say that he has a new project at work and is studying for a state exam. He says he feels the most attraction to and compatibility with me over the other women hes met online, and suggests we start texting, so he can communicate when hes busy with work and weekend review classes. I cant help but be cynical and jaded; if something seems too good to be true, it probably is. Im very new to this online dating thing, and Im worried enough about being rejected romantically, so having to be vigilant against not ending up on the suckers side of a scam is perhaps more than I can handle right now. I sent messages to both men, explaining what my research revealed and my personal experience, saying, If you really are a (description of him) who honestly means me no harm, Im overreacting and should be enjoying the process of getting to know you better. If not, say hello to Mr. Harvard for me. Help! I would never give a stranger money for any reason, so Im not afraid of being duped by these sorts of schemes. I am, however, wary of getting my hopes up only to have my heart broken when a con artist senses Im not falling for his ruse and disappears without a trace. What to do?!
Posted on: Thu, 18 Sep 2014 02:23:36 +0000
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