Ive learned a multitude on my journeys across the US, both past & present: - 87% of Americans drive white cars. This is remarkable only bc most cops also drive white cars. You can totally understand how this leads to confusion, officer.... - way too many people text & talk while they drive. Thats just stupid, stop it. - Robert Frost was on to something; take the road less traveled. All odd numbered roads travel north/south and even numbers east/west. If you follow that logic youll never get lost but find amazing detours, pictures & home made pie. The only thing I cant promise is good coffee. Seriously, that feels like it should be easier. - everywhere from northern Texas to New Jersey, kind of looks like upstate NY. Its still worth the jaunt; the accents and gift shops are just better. - just like upstate NY though, small roads feel like the opening scene to Criminal Minds. Please use street smarts and avoid dark, empty roads if you are alone. Its totally a casting call and Mandy Patinkin isnt on the show to save you anymore. - if you order ribs in TN, NC, SC or really anywhere but Texas, youre getting some tastey pork ribs. In Texas, however, you are getting Flintstone sized cow ribs. Youve been warned. - always ooze sunshine. People like to talk and if youre gonna be a jerk and not listen to their story, stop traveling. You dont deserve it. - people also love to hear what brought you to their door. Dont be afraid to share or conceal as much as you want about yourself. What you find mundane is completely inspiring to the right ears, and sometimes you need that validation. - twitter is not news. Yes, its a source of news but Joni from Ohio (who you dont know) should not be used in any diatribe about current events. - sometimes people seem stupid. Im gonna let you in on a secret, theres a huge chance they are not as smart as you. Not everyone goes to fancy college or reads the news or has ever left their home town. Be nice, they are probably still Googling diatribe and are actually an amazing human being with other qualities aside from the aforementioned lexicon skills. - beef jerky is delicious. If either jerky or McGriddles were healthy, wed all work them into our regular diets. - over tip. No one ever got rich, skimping on a tip. That extra $5 you leave a waitress in Clarksburg, WV may totally make her weekend. - dont assume your political beliefs are shared, and frankly, dont offer them up. You will meet liberals in Louisiana and conservatives in New Mexico. Mind your business unless you are ready to embrace the inevitable conversation and/or can run fast. - 8 hours is not far to drive if you find good friends, good food, good music or a good night kiss at the end. - leggings or lounge pants are a road trips best friends. - accept free drinks. Even if youre confident you make more than the combined bar patrons income, men like to buy ladies $2 millers. Its like being in Ireland and not taking an old ladys tea. Dont insult your hosts. - secretly buy other people drinks. Nothing beats the feeling of picking up some young marines bar tab without them knowing. Granted they probably just wrack up another, but its super nice and frankly, they deserve it. - McDonalds has the cleanest bathrooms. - request Beyonce or Run DMC in a country bar at least once in your life. Everyone will dance, I promise. - listen to local radio on the road. - dont talk in local accents (unless youre safely in your car or room. Then Im betting its hilarious). - dance with strangers...preferably tall, funny ones. - make friends. I realize I have a collection of friends I acquired along my travels. From my days with NASCAR to baseball trips and general shenanigans, Ive managed to maintain relationships with some unlikely suspects. And for that, Im thankful. Every time I travel across America I appreciate its visual, spiritual, political, cultural, financial & edible diversity a little more. This country is vast but worth the unending quest to keep us free. I thank my dad, both grandfathers, uncles, cousins, friends and strangers for their service to this great nation. And honor all those I know who still continue to sacrifice daily, not only to preserve and protect, but to evolve the future of the United States of America.
Posted on: Tue, 12 Nov 2013 07:50:38 +0000
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