Ive waited until the very end to watch The Shadow Effect, somehow I knew that it was going to take a toll on me and it has. I feel safe enough, as a part of this community, to share this with all of you, although Im terrified of revealing something so personal...Here I go... 18 months ago I was in the worst shape of my life, physically and mentally. A few weeks before I lost my job, which sent me into a spiral of debt and led to depression. I spent days inside, only going out to get food and cigarettes. Day after day I spent locked in a dark room, loosing hope by the minute, that my life could ever turn positive again. I was constantly surrounded by a darkness that even Dracula himself would fear. A darkness so heavy, it took away the air to breathe and seeped into my pores. I was so lost that, looking back, I have no idea how I ever got out of that deep, terrifying hole. The last ounce of hope that I had (on some days) was the quote below by Haruki Murakami. I looked at it every day, sometimes crying myself to sleep, hoping that one day I could look at it and see that the storm had passed. I reached that turning point months ago and Im fine now. Most of the time, Im doing really, really well:) Parts of my life are still a mess, theres a lot of rebuilding going on but Im no longer ashamed of my past or my shadows. I think this summit, this community, is the last hurdle that I needed to overcome, so I could finally move on! Mahalo for listening.
Posted on: Tue, 03 Jun 2014 20:20:25 +0000
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