I’m late for the party, but this is my time to ”shine”. This little event took place about a year ago, and it is by far the most embarrassing moment of my life. This is my ultimate “larry-david” moment. Anyway: I was at uni during lunch hours, and I suddenly felt an urge to release the chocolate hostages. This is actually a rare event, as I’m not really comfortable pooping in public(?), but as uni was almost empty, I figured the situation was at least as good as it could be. In my search for the most abandoned bathroom on campus, I eventually found the perfect spot. It was perfect, it was clean and it was big, it even had some fancy armrests on each side. I sat down and enjoyed one of my best poops ever, it was huge, it was liquid and it smelled fantastic (from my POV). I sat there pondering, and started reading the newspaper. After about 20-25 minutes, I had to get ready for a lecture and started finishing. The lecture room was nearby so I wasn’t really in a hurry though. I folded the newspaper neatly and put it my bag, washed my hands and opened the door. You probably guessed it, but no, not only one person was waiting, TWO people were waiting, IN their wheelchair, each of them with their personal handicap assistant (this is normal in Norway). In a moment of shock and embarrassment I realized I had chosen the only handicap wheelchair accessible bathroom on the entire campus. The floor was swallowing me. It felt like a blackout. I was travelling through distant galaxies, and then I just froze. I stood still like a model posing for a painter. It was the longest seconds in my life. Well, this is where it gets über awkward: some part of me thought “hey, we got this bro, relax” and then I decided to walk with a limp, without saying a thing. The worst part was that when I first started dragging my right foot in the most over exaggerated manner you can imagine, I knew it was too late to stop, I had to finish my act. I have never been so embarrassed.
Posted on: Thu, 27 Jun 2013 04:00:17 +0000