Jan. 6: We got the wake-up call I feared and expected when we took my lil mommy to her oncology appointment this afternoon. With all the snow, we almost canceled the appointment, concerned that our angel wheelchair van driver might not want to drive in the snow. So grateful she did. I had called and left a voicemail for Mom’s oncologist’s nurse manager a couple of days ago to let her know what we were seeing, what we were concerned about, and what we felt we needed. With that heads up, and able to assess Mom in person, Dr. Knoble gently steered the conversation away from diagnostics and therapies, and toward hospice and keeping Mom comfortable. I realized on the way home, as Mom and I held hands, that that was possibly/probably the last ride Mom may take, wondering if she noticed the snow, and watching her drift off once again. She did say at one point how grateful she is to have had 82 good years, and how grateful she is not to be in pain -- as am I. After we got home, I contacted some close relatives to update them, while Dad fixed us something to eat. None of us felt like eating, and Mom threw up the one bite she did take. The three of us spent some time talking and crying and holding each other. My amazing mom led the way, saying how she doesn’t want us to be sad about what we heard today, and how we should try to make this time as fun as we can. We took her to the bathroom after “dinner,” and got her ready for bed, but brought her out to the living room to spend a bit more time together. She talked on the phone with Aunt Georgie, but fell asleep in the midst of the conversation. After we got her in bed for the night, Dad and I broke down. So tomorrow morning, OhioHealth Hospice will come out to meet with us, to assess what we need to make Mom comfortable, and to help us care for her most easily and safely. (I’m in danger of a serious shoulder injury if I keep going the way I have been in caring for her.) I was a hospice respite care volunteer many years ago; I know how helpful hospice can be in a wholistic sense. I’m in disbelief that we’re at this point, and yet my unposted note from Jan. 3 is very telling. Jan. 3: Over the Christmas and New Year holiday, I havent updated my status much. We were busy, but I also hadnt been able to decide what I wanted to say I guess. Didnt want to go all negative on here, because there have been good things too. The hard truth is that -- as good as she looks in photos -- my lil mommy has lost some ground physically and otherwise over the past couple of weeks. Despite continued PT 3 times a week, and soon OT 2 days a week, shes not as strong as she was a few weeks ago, or as mobile, nor does she have much energy. She tires very quickly, and sleeps a LOT, any time of day, even after a full night’s sleep. She isnt eating well or drinking as much as she needs to, and has been throwing up every other day or so. Dad and I have spent more time helping and caring for her, getting meals, doing dishes, laundry & other housework, as well as trying to perk her up (and ourselves as well). Yesterday afternoon I realized that well also need to take over on writing checks and handing bills as well, because shes not doing well with that task. It seems that her mental strength is waning, and that that may be the cause of lots of whats going on with her. I havent been able to make myself concentrate on doing much else, not finishing thank-you notes for her, balancing my checkbook, posting on FB, let alone doing work work as Ive felt I should have. I had started a status update a couple of times, but abandoned it. Its probably time for a praise list. I need the pick-me-up, and there are truly good things at play that I need to intentionally reflect on. I also need to put some things in perspective so I can get myself together for work starting in 2 days... Yikes. :-/ Dec. 30: Hello from the Yoakum 2 + 1 household, and happy Tuesday morning to you all. Its been another eventful/uneventful few days here with us. Some of the events: Family friend Fran Weise came by to pray for Mom Saturday afternoon before I headed off to pick up Aunt Georgie and dinner from Longhorn Steakhouse for Mom and Dads anniversary. Dinner was delicious (chicken parmesan), and we had a nice time, although Mom ate very little, and kept nodding off. Aunt Georgie and I roused Mom to play a few hands of cards after dinner in honor of Grandma Hillis, whose birthday was also the 27th. Aunt Georgie had also brought along some of her Christmas tree pin collection to look through; she has over 150 pins! It was fun for me, although Mom kept nodding off. I took Aunt Georgie home and came right back. Apparently Mom and Dad had a tough time getting her settled for the night while I was gone since Dad hasnt had to do much of that thus far. He had mostly left it to me in the past because I believe he felt awkward and unable to do it well. I decided Id better start teaching him as best I could. We three attended Mass at the St. Joseph Cathedral with Bishop Campbell Sunday morning (online). After breakfast, as Dad read the paper and I wrote a couple of thank you notes, while Mom napped. Several times Mom startled awake, concerned we had missed it. We kept assuring her that we had not, as it didnt start until 11 AM per the online schedule. The Mass was also on 820 AM. I wish we had tuned in on the radio just one of the times she asked, as the incorrect time was posted online. Mass actually started at 10:30 AM, not 11. :-( I had tried to click on the link early but it wouldnt connect. Anywho, we attended. [Their friend Anne-Marie had strongly discouraged any of us from taking Mom to church (as Mom had wanted) because so many people have the flu. True enough, we certainly dont want her to get the flu on top of everything else, and we cant afford to be sick either.] Jan. 6 again: I’m not sure why I included those draft updates from Jan. 3 and Dec. 30, but I guess it shows some of the journey we’ve been on. Thank you again for your support and for your prayers during this phase of our journey. God bless you all. And please let this post encourage you to tell your loved ones you love them while you can.
Posted on: Wed, 07 Jan 2015 04:26:36 +0000
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