Jealousy. It is so mean. You never intend to feel jealous, but it creeps in. Ive always been jealous of Lilly. And any child that has good MRI results, hearing the words cancer free. Then something will happen and I will feel guilt for ever feeling jealous. Thats what Im feeling now. How could I feel jealous that sweet Lilly has had a full year cancer free? Its a blessing. Amazing. And amidst my jealousy Ive been overjoyed for them. I just wish we could have had the same results. And now, Lilly, whom Ive always followed, supported, prayed for, been jealous of, so happy for her free life of - is in icu for a seizure and the possibility of relapse, a brain tumor. I feel so broken. When you lose your child, your hope - you cling to others. Like I did with Lilly. Sweet Lilly beating the odds. Then a blow like this that shatters it all. Oh God, please be with Lilly and family. Be with them, comfort them, and prove your mighty healing once again. They need you. And in a way, so do I. Fix the hope, the joy, the happy. For Lilly, for us all.
Posted on: Wed, 06 Aug 2014 20:41:20 +0000
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