Jeannie Szabo I remember the first time we told each other that this was our song , sitting in MCYS together playing cards in our room together. We didnt know what to expect each day but we always knew we had each other to talk, to laugh, to cry, to fight , but most importantly to love and trust. Nobody in this entire world can replace the person that you were in my life. You were pretty much everything to me. When I was feeling left out or picked on in school I always knew that I could go home and be with my best friend in the entire world and talk about it. I always knew that no matter what you wouldnt wrong me or stab me in the back or do anything to hurt me. Of course we are sisters and sisters dont always get along but we werent fighters we were lovers and laughers... So even if we got into a fight about 20 seconds later we were laughing at each other. When you first passed away the shock was so intense and real I didnt know what to do except the only thing I knew how to do which is get high. Which im sure isnt a shock to anybody that knows me , and then when I went away and sobered up I couldnt remember all of the special memories we had together. I guess it was my mind trying to protect me from totally shutting down, but forgetting you I never did. Slowly but surely things began triggering memories of us. There are still memories that are foggy but I think thats related to something else. I dont know if you can see this or not but you know im not the kinda person that gets down and prays , I try to talk to you but its just hard talking to something that isnt there I guess,even though I know you are. I want you to know that not a single day goes by were your not on my mind , its actually close to impossible , what with the beatles, legend of Zelda, peace/coexist posters hanging all over and of course pictures of you. Ill never forget our adventures and dreams we had together, and I just want you to know that my life is a memorial of yours , I want you to be proud of me, to see im not just some low life drug addict with no real future. I want everyone to remember you as the stubborn yet spiritual/peaceful person you always were. Jeannie I love you more than anything and I may be going through a bit of a rough patch right now but I know youre by my side and will be with me every step of the way to recovery, you were the most amazing loving caring sister I could ever had asked for , I miss you and love you -your sister Justin
Posted on: Mon, 29 Dec 2014 00:17:54 +0000
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