John and I finished our Saturday grocery shopping just in time to have lunch before heading home to unpack. We decided to go for a decadent but light lunch of shared appetizers and a glass of wine. We experienced a great greeting at the door, an excellent waiter, delicious food and had a good conversation. But over an invisible wall, my ears picked out a conversation that changed my day. I was hearing a couple explain that there was an issue about the cleanliness of their dinnerware and a manager was in turn explaining and apologizing and explaining because their dish washing process includes a visually impaired individual and this is reason that their dishes were not as clean as expected. The appetizer that a moment prior was a savory morsel n my mouth turned to sawdust. I gulped wine to swallow but it was acidic. Tears began to roll and John was very aware that there was about to be a scene. I asked our waiter to please send a manager and the look on my face clearly terrified him. In moments, the assistant manager was at our table, smiling and ready to serve. I said that I had just overheard a conversation, repeating what I heard and asking her if in fact what I heard was what was said. She acknowledged that it was correct. She said she shouldn’t have said what she said. She said she was ashamed. She started crying. My tears were still rolling. She tried to explain the process and what the visually impaired person could and could not see. I thanked her for owning the statement and I asked her if she could possibly imagine how ‘he’ would feel to know this was the explanation given for less than spotless dinnerware. I think she sort of got it. A few minutes later the manager appeared at our table. She had been told by her assistant what happened. She wanted to also apologize. She wanted me to know the problem really isn’t the visually impaired person but in fact a missing piece of equipment that has yet to be installed. She wanted me to know they are proud of the work their people with disabilities do and told me as an example, about another employee who was recently covered in the Hutch News. She wanted me to know the name of the visually impaired dishwasher and more about his challenges and how much his mother supports his efforts. I thanked her and said that I hoped she could use this example for training purposes. I suspect she will. She wanted to make my day better by paying for our lunch. I wish she hadn’t offered to do that. Just this morning, I watched a story on Fox News about our entitled society. How many people are getting benefits and the “Julia Story” which essentially teaches women how to stay on government support from cradle to grave and a story about a surfer who eats lobster on food stamps and doesn’t have to work. My anger was triggered because a guy who can’t see very well wants to get out of bed, out of the house, and go to a place of employment to wash the damn dishes. My little sister has been blind since 18 months. It has never been helpful that her immune system is compromised and she was also gifted with bipolar disorder. The deck is stacked but she runs her own private practice as a social worker, is over 50 years of age and is completing her doctoral dissertation on the recidivism rates of incarcerated individuals focusing on practices to improve the numbers. She supports herself. Her only ‘benefit’ is a dog guide provided for the visually impaired in lieu of a white cane. Extended family members call her ‘amazing’ and speak in awe that she can cook a meal and find her derriere with both hands. The anguish I feel every day for her struggle and pride in her accomplishment as a human being has something to do my reaction to the injustice done today. Here’s the thing(s): Not one of us is perfect if the mirror or closed doors could tell our story. Can we meet people where they are, in their reality, and be respectful? In the workplace can we take responsibility for our systems and process and raise people around us UP instead of placing blame? Can we understand that a free meal does not fix an injury? Can we step out of our world for a moment and walk in the shoes of another for oh maybe just a block because most of us could never go the full mile. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest and feel free to share if you agree.
Posted on: Sat, 08 Mar 2014 21:29:56 +0000
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