John went to Rite Aid with me last night.....yup, he walked in nicely, shopped around picked out items he wanted ( a whoopee cushion- dont ask...) and many other items. He waited patiently while we checked out. This is a HUGE SUCCESS....in the past I would be held hostage until someone ran to the store for me or stayed to watch John while I went to the store. This was a small step for John but a HUGE leap for me..... Also.....while he was having dinner at the CRP a child was having a loud behavior....normally this would send John into a full blown meltdown. Oddly...John stopped eating, turned his head to look at the child, laughed out loud, and tried to push his shoulder ( in a playful way).....another GOOD SIGN! The staff said John has made leaps and bounds with his tolerance for adversed sounds....and once John can over come this his world will open up! Potty training isnt going so well. But he hasnt worn diapers in 2 full weeks. He still will have BMs in his pants....but this is a work in progress.... Tonight marks the half way mark for me ...not being able to take my baby home. I CANT wait for 2 more weeks to pass...at that time my life will begin to feel ALMOST normal. I will be able to have my baby every weekend and even some week nights for dinner.... This will NEVER feel right to me...and this will NEVER feel normal. Normal is my baby being in 5th grade, playing soccer and having playdates. My normal is visiting my baby in a group home.....Im trying to look at every positive, every small step, every tiny advancement......in the brightest light. Although this will never really feel NORMAL it is....MY NORMAL. At least for now.
Posted on: Wed, 01 Oct 2014 23:46:51 +0000
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