Journal Entry. Thursday. September 25, 2014. These boys are soft. Confiscated the iPads. Unplugged the TV. Take off those flip flops. Put on your boots. Drug them outside. Autumn dusk. 62 degrees. Played dodgeball to the cadence of the Spartan Band across Highway 61. No mercy. Heard We Didnt Start the Fire, in full, 8 times. Every time it got to rock & rolla cola wars, I made it a point to take a son off his feet. Took a shovel handle, busted off some organ pipe mud dauber nests off the stucco. Wasps upset. Told the boys to run. Run Faster. Took out 3 with a rusty badminton racket. Got out the flashlights to show the boys the biggest spider web theyve ever seen, with a spider the girth of a golf ball. Threw the 3 stunned wasps in the spider web. Watch This. Boys dont say a word for 163 seconds. Cooper says he has to pee. I tell him to let it rip, and pointed in the direction of the yard. He rotated 45 degrees, dropped trou, and drenched the deck. Chase found it unfair. Asserted that he should get to pee off the pirate ship. He was bluffing. Sun disappeared. Went inside. The boys learned four invaluable lessons tonight: 1) Own, dont rent; 2) Billy Joel ripped off R.E.M. who ripped off Bob Dylan who ripped off Kerouac and Chuck Berry; 3) Spiders are rockstars; 4) Wasps are assholes.
Posted on: Fri, 26 Sep 2014 00:38:41 +0000