Journey to Lottie!!!!!! I have started this page because many of my sweet friends and family wanted to stay in the loop while we are in China. You all know I am so not eloquent and a blog would be laughable. I will use this to update you guys while we are away and use it as a journal of memories from our travel to China for Lottie one day. As Most of you know about two and a half years ago I started talking about adding another kiddo to our family. I brought the topic up to Cooper and he said to let him pray about it. He came back a few weeks later and told me that he feels The Lord was leading him personally towards adoption. He said, I keep coming back to the verse in James 1:27...Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. I cant help but think that this time if we are going to add to our family that we do it by adoption. Honestly, I was less than thrilled by his answer. I simply responded by saying, I have never felt led toward adoption and that must mean we are to stop at our three kiddos and be grateful for the ones we have. Over the next few weeks we began crossing paths with different families that were on an adoption journey. As time went on different friends and even acquaintances would approach me and say, I hear you are praying about adoption. I would quickly respond, well maybe Cooper is but I dont feel led to adopt. One day, I was in my front yard and a neighbor approached me and said, I hear you and Cooper are praying about adoption. Once again I responded with the truth that Cooper was but that I didnt feel led to adopt. She kindly responded that she was convicted that she had never asked The Lord if this was something she was to do. I was convicted myself and committed to praying that if it was His will for us to adopt that He would make it clear. Months passed and my heart was stirred, but I was also fearful of the change it would have on the lives of my children, my family and friends surrounding us. Then December of 2011, Cooper and I made a meeting with Lifeline agency trying to figure out whether The Lord just wanted to get us plugged in at Lifeline to serve and/or if he wanted us to pursue adoption. One Sunday in April it became very clear what His desire for us was. We were pulling out of the church service and I told Cooper, I know this is what we are called to do and he said he was just about to share the exact same thing with me. After multiple meetings and time in prayer, we chose to start the process and chose to adopt from China for various reasons. I actually journaled on April 12, 2012 that we have made our mind up and we are committed to adopting from China. We finally submitted our paperwork in May 2012 and officially began all the paperwork. We cruised right along doing all the things we were asked to do. We chose a name before we were matched. We knew we felt The Lord leading us to adopt a little girl. We talked about many different names and we chose Lottie. Lotties name came from Charlotte Moon (aka Lottie Moon). Lottie was a committed believer that accepted Christ at age 19 and later went to China to serve as a missionary. She served in China for 40 years. On her tombstone was written: 40 years missionary of SBC in China. Faithful unto death. We wanted to give our daughter a namesake with meaning and also encourage her to fill these shoes that she will be a faithful believer until the day The Lord brings her home. My sweet Mimi, who has shaped so much of who I am, used to bring me Lottie Moon books growing up and I always loved reading these books. I saw a character who was so much fun, but feared The Lord with all her heart and served Him well. I cant help but believe that my sweet Mimi was laying the foundation for this adoption many years ago. As this past summer went on we all waited for a referral. It came by surprise one late night in July. We were at the beach with my family and Cooper had left the day before to return home to work. I was sitting in bed and he called. I was telling him all about our day and he interrupted me asking If I had checked my email. As usual I responded, no..why? He informed me that Karla ( our social worker ) had emailed and asked if we were awake. Immediately my heart was racing and Cooper tried to calm me down and told me it could be anything.... I knew it wasnt;). So we called back and found out the great news that we had a referral. Cooper and I got to open up her file while in different states and lay eyes on this sweet little girl. Karla went through all her history and medical history and laid it all before us. We were thrilled. I got to show my family and he got to tell some dear friends and family that night. The next morning things got a little hairy... Some of her growth measurements were a little scary to some of the physicians we had asked to help us. We started a journey for the next few weeks begging The Lord for clarity and guidance with this sweet baby. We had lots of ups and downs, plenty of times of straight up fear. I came to a place where I felt like I was playing God, deciding whether a child was good enough or not to be ours. I felt it had been so different in our bio kids, because I knew whatever The Lord gave us, was ours without a doubt, no question! For some reason I felt like I had a choice. I had anticipated a child with something to fix . This was very different than the one we were given. I sought the advice of many people I trusted, but deep down I think I knew most of the time where The Lord was leading us. I am a big journaler. I journal many of my prayers, thoughts and what The Lord is teaching me. One night I was so overwhelmed with all that was going on. I pulled my journal out and begin to read all that he had been teaching me over the last few months and really the past couple of years... Hindsight became 20/20. I truly had an ah ha moment. He had led our family through some different trials and through them I learned to trust Him when He speaks and to walk in faith and know that He blesses our obedience. Over the last month He had taught me over and over several things. One being that obedience is the truest expression of a disciples adoration and worship. Second, that His word is living and active. Third...trust in Him, stand on his promises and what He reveals. Lastly, He showed me this over and over whether it was my reading time, reading nighttime stories to my kids and even in the music that would come on the radio. But it was walk fearlessly. Dont think about the Red Sea ahead. KNOW it will part when you get there. The Israelites had to step in the Roaring river in faith knowing that God would do what He said He would do, clinging to what they had been told. I knew at that time The Lord was asking us to step out in faith and adopt this sweet girl. We didnt know what her difficulties may or may not be, but she was ours. The Lord had chosen her from the beginning of time to be the fourth Johnson. I wasnt thrilled in the beginning, b/c I was struck with fear. No one could predict long term or short term what her disabilities will be, but He wanted me to trust in Him. Early in this process I remember a sweet friend that had already walked through this process encouraging us. She reminded us that God doesnt call the equipped, but He equips the called. And here we go... We are walking in faith every step of the way knowing that He who called us is faithful. One more cool thing.... Remember how I journaled our commitment on April 12, 2012!?! She was born the day before;). We didnt realize that until after we had accepted her, but how neat! I love how The Lord is so good to encourage you every step of the way. We are thrilled to be traveling soon to meet and hold our Lottie for the very first time. We are so thankful that The Lord has chosen us to do the job of being Lotties earthly parents. I am so grateful for her biological mom who chose life for her. I am sure she is a pretty courageous woman.
Posted on: Wed, 06 Nov 2013 23:00:01 +0000
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