Just got back from taking the kid to school, had to stop in WM, its beautiful out there, but getting really hot fast! Ok, so I want to say a few things here to EVERYONE, if thats ok? 1st of all, to EVERYONE out there, Im very sorry for dumping all of my recent sadness, depression, negativity and basically sh** on all of you. For that, I am deeply sorry and after this post there will be no more. 2ndly, to my Friends, Family and Extended Family, who have shown me love, support, kind words and prayers, I thank you all. Especially you Donald, that message you sent me 2 days ago, touched my heart, made me cry and I will cherish those words for ever. 3rdly to Ryan..... our family and friends know whats happened so I have nothing to hide. Ryan, for someone who doesnt love someone else anymore and needs time away/apart you sure coulda fooled me with the constant flooding of messages that have been pouring in. I begged you, you said no. You said please let me do this. Ive always given you what you wanted. Ive done nothing but love you, give you my heart, my life and now....... you need to take that time that you asked for. I do not wish to know your decision or what conclusion you have come to until May 1st. And I dont want you to think this is an ultimatum. No, not at all, but you asked for time and Im giving it to you. Now, I personally have been put through a lot, and I need that much time to get through, not get over, but get through this. I will never get over what has happened, I will never get over the memory of you holding your bags in your hand and me driving away. But I need some time, just to try and gather myself. I need to compose and be strong for my self but more importantly for Raena because this delivered a really hard punch to her as well. If you need more time past May 1st, so be it. I said I would give you what you wanted. In the meanwhile, I want you to be happy, to be healthy, to be SAFE and above all I hope you talk to GOD and I pray that he blesses you and gives you what you need. To all my friends and family, again, thank you. I love you all. You can comment here, say what ever you wish. I only ask that you refrain from any derogatory or negative words, please no badmouthing. Only because the fact remains, I do still love him. When God created me and he programmed me with the love emotion he did not program it within my brain or heart with an on/off switch as he may have done with some, where they can just shut their love on and off when they get tired, bored, confused or frustrated. No, if I say I love you, its for ever and I mean it. So please... no badmouthing. Im praying for a favorable outcome to this horrible nightmare. Thank you all and thank you Ryan for respecting my wishes. Sorry guys for any type-os!
Posted on: Thu, 03 Apr 2014 15:59:21 +0000