Just like Carly, the girl in this video, I have a form of Autism, but mine is... how shall we say, different. While, like her, I had violent outbursts of violence when I was little, and my mom can attest to that, I dont get the sensory overload that she does. However, I understand how she views the world; you might say that she and I see the world through the same eyes. She cant use her own voice to speak, while I can, but, like her, I find it hard to actually even talk to other people period just about. theres only a select few people that I can talk to about my problems freely, as though talking about the weather. So yeah. i know what it feels like to be a prisoner in your own body. I know how it feels to be looking at the world through soundproof glass, unable to tell the world what you see. And while Asperger syndrome itself isnt all that obvious, other than a lack of social skills, etc. it comes alone very rarely. Almost every case has something else attached; I had asthma until I grew out of it. Thanks to my Aspergers, my shirts sometimes feel randomly uncomfortable, so I have to use the muscles in my shoulders and neck to shift it slightly until it feels alright again. My Tourettes made me develop extremely childish actions, like making silly noises all the time. My Aspergers made me be so behind other students even in primary school that I would use the really big cardboard books you can sometimes get to make cubby houses under the tables. In a way, I wish that I could go back in time and apologise to the teacher who had to put up with the worst of it, and did so amazingly well, thinking back. He never got angry with me despite the OUTRAGEOUS extents my immaturity reached, and I actually wish that i could go back and tell him the reason why, as well as that Im sorry I more than slightly wrecked his class a few times. Namely pretty much every class. But still... Every Autistic person is different. But yet, put any of us in front of a computer, and we will make magic fly from our fingertips. Aspergers people especially; you might say that Aspies tend to... Think in code, as it were. We can virtually feel the code as it flows, and as Im writing this, Im being just... Randomly filled with unexplainable joy. Maybe its the fact that for once in my extremely lonely existance, I am able to put into words what it means to BE an autistic person. Nobody knows what its like to be one of us. Its like were a different species. But yet we all fit together so well that if you were to get a whole HEAP of us together in the one place and working on a project, it would make even the likes of Leonardo Da Vinci or even Michelangelo weep at the beauty of it; some of us are great at details, some of us are mathematical supercomputers, and some are perfect artists. And then theres the people like me; the digital age Da Vincis, the 21st Century Michelangelos... The William Shakespeares of the modern world. We live among you and yet we are apart from you. Where you follow the winds and grinds of Society, we see the grinds coming up, and nimbly sidestep them. However, the world slams us back in much harder. We dont handle stress; we have enough trying to process the IDIOTICY of the world around us today. We arent all artists or inventors though. I personally have a way with words; I can imagine a beautiful landscape, which would make anyone have tears in their eyes at the sheer beauty of the scene before them. I also have a rather cliched description of a virtual ocean made of grass. Imagine for a moment, that youre in a black space. No light, no nothing. Then, suddenly, you notice a mountain range, all soft white snow and gentle blue rock sides, seeming to go on forever. Then, a sea of emerald green grass reveals itself from the darkness between you and the mountains. And its gently swaying in a soft breeze that smells faintly of lavender and lemongrass, with just a hint of jasmine. Then, to the side, nestled against the mountainside, you notice a beautifully carved castle jutting out from the mountainside, cerulean tops on dark cream colored spires, with golden light bouncing off them, and making the parts of the castle in the sunshine look like theyre made out of some kind of pale brown rock, colored light cream. And in the shade, its the color of caramel. You look up, and you see 2 suns; one blazing white and the other seemingly a slight orange hue. And over the other side, you can see a semi-light blue colored moon, with an orange crescent moon beside it. ^THAT is the kind of thing I can create. Im also kind of good at making highly chaotic battlefields in space :D
Posted on: Wed, 03 Dec 2014 07:19:23 +0000
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