Just spoke to a bunch of new employees at their orientation. After asking them to bow in reverence at the greatest detective in America, I went into my little speech. I told them that despite the annoying people, shitty hours, lame uniforms, an employee break room that would fit in nicely at Alcatraz, the fact that you cant bring a scarf to work without the risk of someone stealing it, immature high school gossip, immature junior high school cliques, being hit on by ugly customers and coworkers, wages an Indonesian sweat shop worker would laugh at, credit card scammers, quick change artists, counterfeit bills, overflowing toilets, escalators straight from a Stephen King novel, elevators that break down every 11 seconds, the fact you have to work here for the length of a presidential administration before you even sniff a bonus, 46 different languages spoken..none of them English, customers making a Supreme Court case out of being overcharged 4 cents on a Dinty Moore beef stew, welfare hoodrats, heroin addicts, and certain people getting the red carpet treatment while you get threatened with annihilation for being 17 seconds late to work, this is an awesome place to be. Surprisingly, none of them ran out screaming after my speech. Masochists.
Posted on: Sat, 23 Nov 2013 17:16:28 +0000
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