Just wanted to type a little. I dont know what will come out but, I thought I might tell you a little about my reality. Most of the time when I write my midnight rants I have woken from some intense dream and, need to get something off my chest. I have had a problem with nightmares my entire life. I have died several times in my dreams. The three that stick out the most are: the time I was disemboweled by the dog across the street (I was about 7 when I had this dream), the time I was killed by slime creatures from outer space (9ish when I dreamed this) and, the time I fell off of a cliff and landed on my back and felt the back of my skull cave in (I was in my 20s when I had that one). I dream a lot about the end of the world as we know it and, what my life will be like in the post-apocalypse. Sometimes I remember my dreams quite vividly; other times not so much. Lately, I have at least one of these dreams a night and, wake up with so much adrenaline pumping through my system that it takes a while to calm back down and, get back to sleep. I have at times in my life tried taking medications to stop the dreams but, none of them ever worked ... except one. The one thing that worked on my dreams was something I took for my other medical problems. It all but cured my back pain and, kept my heart from freaking out as much. The only problem with that medicine was that, while it was legal for me to use it on a state level, the federal government had not approved it for use and thus, I was a little paranoid on it. If the federal government ever deregulates the use of this medicine I will probably re-enroll in the program to have access to it but, I am not optimistic that this will happen in my lifetime. Some of you probably know what medicine I am talking about; some of you probably do not. I will not be naming the mystery medication and, I am kind of hesitant to even post this much information regarding it but, that is one of the things on my mind right now. A large part of why I do not use it today is because it is a sin to break the law. I do not like breaking the law. I want to be a good citizen. Mostly I just want to be a good citizen of the Kingdom of God. However, I would be lying if I said I didnt sometimes miss this medicine. It is a huge conundrum to me. I have numerous people in my life that encourage me to get back in the program and keep using it. There are others that are less supportive. I am kind of curious what you out there in facebook land think on the subject. I am on 7 different medications right now. All of them are bad for at least one of my vital organs. If I could replace all of these meds with something that (while somewhat controversial) replaces all of my current medications save one what would you do? Keep in mind that this medicine also has no major side effects. I guess it is kind of a mute point since I wont be re-enrolling in the program until it is recognized by the fed but, I am too curious to hear the responses. I think I can go back to sleep now. Good night America ... wherever you are.
Posted on: Wed, 06 Nov 2013 07:58:49 +0000
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