Keep It Gay ! The Hardest Scene Neil Patrick Harris Ever Had To Film Listen, Roger: did you get a chance yet to read Springtime for Hitler? ROGER: Read it? I devoured it! I for one, for instance, never realized that the Third Reich meant Germany. MAX: Yeah, how bout that? Then youll do it? ROGER: Do it? Of course not. The theatres so obsessed With dramas so depressed Its hard to sell a ticket on Broadway Shows should be more pretty Shows should be more witty Shows should be more... Whats the word? LEO: Gay? ROGER: Exactly! No matter what you do on the stage Keep it light, keep it bright, keep it gay! Whether its murder, mayhem or rage Dont complain, its a pain Keep it gay! CARMEN: People want laughter when they see a show The last thing theyre afters a litany of woe ROGER & CARMEN: A happy ending will pep up your play... ROGER: Oedipus wont bomb... CARMEN: If he winds up with Mom! Keep it gay! ROGER: Keep it gay... ROGER & CARMEN: Keep it gay! MAX: Couldnt agree with you more. And you have our blessings, Roger, to make Springtime for Hitler just as gay as anyone could possibly want. So, cmon, do it for us, please. ROGER: No, sorry, Max, but its simply not my cup of tea. Still, fair is fair, perhaps I should ask my production team what they think. This is my set designer, Bryan. BRYAN: Keep it glad, keep it mad, keep it gay! ROGER: And heres my costume designer, Kevin. KEVIN: Hello... Keep it happy, keep it snappy, keep it gay! BRYAN & KEVIN: Were clever, creative Its our job to see That evrythings perfect for Mr. De Bris! ROGER: Next, Scott, my choreographer... SCOTT: Hi there... ROGER: And, ah, finally, last and least, my lighting designer, Shirley Markowitz. SHIRLEY: Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it gay LEO: I dont think were getting to them, Max. What do we do now? MAX: Watch this. Roger, listen. I think that Springtime for Hitler would be a marvelous opportunity for you. I mean, up to now, youve always been associated with frivolous musicals. ROGER: Youre right. Ive often felt as though Ive been throwing my life away on silly little entertainments. Deopy showgirls in gooey gowns. Two-three-kick-turn! Turn-turn-kick-turn! CARMEN: Oh, Roger. ROGER: Its enough to make you heave. Nonetheless, sorry, Max. I just couldnt do Springtime for Hitler MAX: Why not? Think of the prestige. ROGER: No. MAX: Think of the respect. ROGER: No, no, no. MAX: Think of ... the Tony! CARMEN & THE TEAM: Tony...Tony...Tony...Tony...Tony! ROGER: Ngaaaaaahhhhh! MAX: Whats the matter? LEO: Is he all right? CARMEN: Hes having a stroke... MAX & LEO: What? CARMEN: ...of genius! ROGER: I see it! I see it! At last. The chance to do something important! CARMEN: Roger de Bris presents History! ROGER: Of course that whole second act has to be rewritten. Theyre losing the war? Excuse me. Its too downbeat. CARMEN: Roger de Bris presents History! ROGER: But maybe...its a wile idea, but it just might work... I see a line of beautiful girls Dressed as storm troopers, each one a gem With leather boots and whips on their hips Its risque, dare I say, S & M! CARMEN & THE TEAM: Love it! ROGER: I see German soldiers dancing through France Played by chorus boys in very tight pants And wait, theres more - they win the war! And the dances they do will be daring and new Turn-turn-kick-turn, turn-turn-kick-turn One-two-three-kick-turn! Keep it sassy, keep it classy, keep it... MAX: That is brilliant. Brilliant! Roger, I speak for Mr. Bloom and myself when I sawy that you are the only man in the world who can do justice to Springtime for Hitler. Will you do it, please? LEO: Please. ROGER: Wait a minute. This is a very big decision. It might effect the course of my entire life. I shall have to think about it...Ill do it. Ill do it! Sabu, champagne! ROGER, CARMEN & THE TEAM: If at the end you want them to cheer Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it gay Whether its Hamlet, Othello or Lear Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it gay CARMEN: Comedys joyous, a constant delight Dramas annoy us... ROGER & CARMEN: ...and ruin our night. ROGER, CARMEN & THE TEAM: So keep your Strindbergs and Ibsens at bay... ROGER: Ill sign... KEVIN: Sign... BRYAN: Sign... SCOTT: Sign... CARMEN: Sign... SHIRLEY: Sign... MAX & LEO: Sign... ROGER: Roger Elizabeth De Bris! ALL: Keep it gay!! https://youtube/watch?v=_gxg5HWTIAY
Posted on: Tue, 02 Dec 2014 18:07:41 +0000