Kinda lost my way for a min .. Just glad I didnt act on the feelings I held in , Im so thankful for patient... Took my head away from Facebook because of family issues, I dont know why n I dont care to understand the reasons to how thy are but the harder thy try to push me down, the less I care .. The test of seeing how I react to the lies she tells and the more intense she made it out to be, my response was nothing.. I felt anger n hate I wanted to hurt her in ways you could imagine.. I couldnt listen to my pow wow music I couldnt talk to our creator I couldnt see this world.. So I shut myself out because I almost gave in to the response they wanted.. An even being almost at the edges of it, flashed everything Ive worked for just to be here everything I struggled n suffered through just to be apart of my families lives, I thought taking that last step would mean not seeing my sister not seeing Maddys smile not hearing Maries laugh not being able to see juduim n it would mean never to hug them at all but only wishes again, so I took a long deep hard breath n I said Im not losing this life I made for myself over childish ways, if thy want to mad over me being out spoken n blunt n defending myself then let them. the way I talk when Im trying to see the reason for something I didnt do may come out rude like I said Im very blunt an being rude isnt intended most of you who know me know this. I love the fact that I can stand alone n its better in times like this I could think better I asked for patience about a month ago and it came... Now I can see better
Posted on: Sat, 15 Nov 2014 00:48:19 +0000
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