LAST CHRISTMAS? When I started this page the intention was to be completely open and honest. To use it as a channel to offload all those feelings Ive kept tucked away all these years. For those who know me it may come as a surprise that how I felt on the inside wasnt how I appeared on the outside. I wasnt trying to deceive you but I know you already felt helpless without me going to pieces too. Yes, I was strong. My faith carried me, you carried me ... but I did have my moments ... those alone moments. I find Christmas a difficult time. I do love Christmas but I find it gets harder every year. No matter how strong I am, no matter how much I believe I have a long and happy future ahead of me, no matter the size my faith, I can never shake that niggling thought that overshadows everything else, What if this is my last? I find the pressure to make it the best Christmas EVER and to make lasting memories ... just in case... grows with each passing year. Its the same at birthdays, and mothers day, and the many other landmark events. Always that cloud. This is where I need to take my own advice! - Enjoy every day like it IS your last, dont have any regrets for things said or done, or for things you wish you had, write those letters/e-mails/texts (or whatever other technology Im not yet up-to-date on!), go for that coffee, catch up with those friends, carry no anger, resentment or unforgiveness ... to sum it all up - LOVE one another! ...After all ... Love came down at Christmas... Joy to the world! xx
Posted on: Wed, 04 Dec 2013 19:36:11 +0000
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