LAST CHRISTMAS with my wife? Last night I had an emotional, intimate and nourishing evening with my wife & soulmate, Talyaa Liera. We pretended it was a snow day and took the late afternoon and evening off to watch a Christmas movie. At one point we turned to each other acknowledging it felt like Christmas day. In the face of a ticking time bomb brain tumor, we became emotional realizing that if something happened before Christmas, we/I would remember this as a disturbing premonition. In the face of cancer, almost every day I go through this - will I have another day with my beloved? Will I find her alive in the morning? Will this be the last birthday/ Halloween/ X-mas/ New Years...? This is not being dramatic - there is a real possibility of death - we have beat the odds by A LOT! A fraction of a percentage of people make it this far. There are no guarantees. I share this not as a victim, or a complaint - but as a way to be intimate and share my journey - that even though we have a higher probability of death, some day, perhaps tomorrow, will be your last day or the last day of a loved one. I have lived this reality for 2 years in my face. I do my best to remember every person I meet could be the last time. It changes my thoughts and actions. I hope to be kind, present and intimate with all of you. AND for the record, CANCER sucks! The hell with any silver lining. My heart breaks for what my beloved goes through and endure every day...
Posted on: Wed, 12 Nov 2014 23:18:08 +0000
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