LET ME BE ME when is it that you will see me? see me for who i really am? not for who you want me to be, but me. my soul, my being, my intuition, my self motivation, my individuality. me. when will you understand my thoughts, my feelings. my wants my needs? its all about you!!! when will you see me? for who i really am? when will you see me? not what you want me to be. not what you hope me to be. but me. when can i be me. with out the questions, the guilt trips. the bull shit. when can i be me? do i need to be solo to be me? do i need to be alone? must i break free to feel free? must i run to feel like i can fly? must i ? i only ask because i don’t understand why. why can’t i be me? why can’t i fly free? why can’t i be me? is it an obligation to not be happy to fulfill the needs of others. must it be, that i am not unique, just to keep my lover? that i must bottle it up inside and never let my emotions go? must it be, that i must remain quiet and never let any of it show? and for what i must ask? what am i savoring? what am i fighting for? when i know that eventually, i will find the exit door. when can i be me? when can i be free? what is that i am holding on to so tight? come on, somebody, show me my light. i am so ready to not know. so ready to not show. so ready to run in flight. i don’t know how much longer i can keep up this fight. i am trying and trying with all of my might. i am afraid i will not make it thru another fight. i may just be at my wits end. i dont know if i can do this all over again. i don’t know if i can handle the reins being pulled from behind. i am not good with instructions; i like to make up my own mind. please don’t make me decide between you and me…. because it will be me in the end, i guarantee……. i am tired of not doing for other peoples sake. and i am done… with this shit. might be ten years to late. but you either accept me for who i am, or let the highway choose your fate,. i am no longer bending or giving in, to what other people want. its about me now……… my own life i will choose to haunt i know my past, its nothing that i can say i proclaim and I am to be proud. but i am not the type to pull the wool, and gather the shroud. i am outspoken, i have belligerence, and i am mostly loud. but i don’t give a shit if i lessen the crowd. see i am getting to the point where i can draw a square around my face. and say if you don’t see it, then your in the wrong place. its all about me now, i am sorry but it’s true.. your selfish ways, will dig you deep into the blue. you think that i am selfish, yet i am the most giving. that is why i can say, that i do the most living. i would rather be around friends then to sit all alone. but i guess if it was up to another, i would be imprisoned inside my own home. i can no longer hide that i am about to blow my top. maybe i will lie here, and pretend to be as solid as a rock. Jessica L. Gordon 12-8-2012
Posted on: Thu, 13 Jun 2013 21:46:36 +0000
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