LETTER FROM WISCONSIN Dear Uncle Indecent Proposals One of the things that made me aspire to live in the United States when I was a kid was the American movie industry. How can you not love the country that produced movies like “Deep Throat”, the “last American virgin” and “American pie” 1 and 2? I am patiently waiting for the part 3. But my favorite American movie is “Indecent Proposal” a 1993 movie starring Demi Moore, Woody Harrelson and Robert Redford. In that movie Robert Redford was a millionaire who met high school sweethearts Demi and Woody who were struggling to make ends meet. He proposed to give the couple a million dollars if Demi Moore would sleep with him. As a kid I thought how difficult was that? This was a no brainer till I got married. Uncle you know me when I have time on my hands as in my off week, the devil finds work for the idle hands. It was under such devilish times that I switched on my radio (which is perpetually tuned to Fox News). A supposed meeting between Congress men and women of both parties to iron out their differences on an upcoming immigration bill was called off or unsuccessful because the Republicans insisted that those ‘illegals’ who will likely be made “legal” should not be given government run health insurance like Obamacare. Well as a former full time conservative and transient ‘illegal’ I will like to propose a couple of other ‘indecent proposals’ in concert with conservative values and in accordance with the low IQ of the ‘illegals’. For after all why limit them to only Obamacare. I officially propose that they should not be allowed to sing the national anthem. That is big and number one!! I propose that these ‘illegals’ be prevented from driving and should not be awarded any sort of driving license. Have you seen how these people with low IQs drive? They will not stop at 4 way stop junctions and cause lots of accidents. In addition they will have difficulty comprehending the various road signs, for example a deer on a road sign may be interpreted as hunting season. Most of these ‘illegals’ have red-green colour blindness thus making it difficult to visualize the various lights on the traffic signals. We may have to change the signal lights to black and white Think about it but why prevent them only from government run healthcare like Obamacare. I suggest they should not be able to access Medicaid, Medicare and even private insurance. These ‘illegals’ have all sorts of illnesses like the already eradicated small pox through yaws, syphilis, malaria, trypanosomiasis and indeed a lot of worm infestations. They will simply run the health system, private and public aground. They can import their own herbal medicines from their various countries to treat their ailments With their low IQs they cannot understand military codes and even shoot their own comrades and compatriots including their military commander during times of war. I therefore suggest that the ‘illegals’ should be barred from joining the military at all costs. This ban should extend to their sixth generation as you know Dr Richwine found that the low IQs persist across generations for a long time. I also pledge that they be identified with a yellow “I” sign on their foreheads and their apartments and various places of abode duly documented. That way whenever we build the missile shield we will put ‘holes’ in the shield that will allow incoming missiles to hit them in case we are attacked by an enemy If immigration reforms will cost 6.3 trillion dollars, please cut them of social security and other social benefits. They will pay their taxes in full but we will have a parallel, separate but unequal citizenry in the US Finally I propose that they not be allowed to vote. I tell you low IQ-minded people tend to vote Communist/Socialist and vote for people like Obama. With time as these ‘illegals’ exercise their franchise, “America as we know it today will be gone forever” As for me I am fortunate enough that with my low IQ which has still not be detected by my employer (one of the wonders of the modern world), I have evaded detection and minding my own goddamn business. Till I come to you next with “Complicated: shipping is, Taxes should not be”, it is on-off conservative pro-anti immigration nephew.
Posted on: Wed, 12 Jun 2013 01:46:26 +0000