LETTING GO One of the sweetest things in life that really brings pleasure, comfort and courage is friendship. When youre lucky to have a friend who stands by you through thick and thin, it really can be comforting. As people, our lives are daily buffeted by the realities of living. This life has got moments of highs and lows, surplus and scarcity, hurt and pleasure, happiness and sadness, loss and gain. Its never consistent or predictable. Life is a challenging yet compulsory project. Living is what your life is about; Life is what youre about. But with a good friend to lean on its much easier, with caring people around you burdens can be shared, challenges borne together and a helping hand leant as at when required. Its such a good thing to have people you can call your friends. In my experience, friends have really been useful at various times and in various ways. People to share good news and bad news with, those who could help, connect, support and supply whatever i needed. Ive had people who were really there for me, to a high degree my friends and associates contributed in their various ways to who Ive become today. Lately I began to think more about friendship and its purpose after a friend shared with me her experience on getting a promotion in her office. Shes waited for years to secure this promotion. Shes worked very hard and secured the necessary qualifications to earn her this new position. According to her, her promotion had suffered delay because of her competence and efficiency in her previous position and top management had no reliable replacement for her hitherto – they figured her promotion may upset the flow of things, so they made her remain there to stabilise processes and work flow. Thank goodness her prayers were answered late last year and in January she got her letter of promotion to the position of a manager. Meanwhile her best friend and closest associate in the establishment was on leave when this promotion took place. This friend worked with the human resources team and was the HR partner to my friends team. Shes been a manager herself for about 3 years now – way before my friend. Upon her resumption and hearing my friend is now a manager she became upset to everyones surprise. She was so angry and began to protest. She hated the fact that the decision to promote my friend was taken behind her back and as the HR partner to the team; she ought to have been carried along before effecting the promotion. This my friend got to know latter that this so called best friend had apparently been the one delaying her promotion. Every time it was discussed she would make a case against her friend and ensure the promotion was deferred. This promotion was only made possible because she was on vacation this time around. When this my friend heard this story she didnt believe it because this so called best friend has supposedly stood by her during the delay, encouraging her and praying along that God will do it. This so called friend visited her regularly at home and as it were, theyve become family friends. But of course my friend eventually realized her best friend had truly been behind her delayed promotion all along, when suddenly this so called best friend stopped talking to her and relating with her all because now, she has the promotion and they are both managers. My friend, in relaying this story was crying not because of the betrayal from her friend but more because she was missing this so called best friend. My friend couldnt handle the break up and an end to their friendship. Even though she was wronged, she couldnt handle the loneliness and friendship failure. Now she goes for lunch alone, no one to share with or confide in. The entire gist about her husband, her family, her kids, new clothes, shopping spots, new eating joints, BB chats, Facebook chats, making fun of colleagues, bosses and general gossip is over. Though my friend ought to be the offended one; upset at the treachery of this so called best friend, yet shes the one hurting simply because she cant let go of the friend and the friendship as wicked as this friend has been. In my submission and based on my personal experience, i do not think theres anything like best friends forever. Ive had friends and i still have many friends. Truth is the intimacy that friendship brings and the disappointment that follows when its over, has caused me more pain than anything else in this life. Friends have messed me up, Oh my God, believe me I cant begin to tell. Friends that i gave my all in love, attention, care and material things have turned around to orchestrate my pain, downfall, disgrace and embarrassment. So Ive learnt to watch my friends and understand my enemies. Why? its simple. You see many friends are your friends because in your current state, you dont intimidate them and they dont see you as a threat to their self-esteem and personal pride, so they can handle you, show-off to you and at times oppress you with their own successes and accomplishments. In fact most times when they help you its not because they love or feel sorry for you but because it gives them an air of superiority and a sense of Im better than him or her. Immediately things get better for you and you match them, or even exceed them in status, youll see their real colours. That friendship is likely going to end. Another set of friends are those who stick with you because of what they can get or benefit from you. They are your praise singers and would pretend to love you or be willing to give anything for you because of what theyre getting. It can be protection, favours, contracts, cash or connection. Once youre no longer in a position to benefit them or they realise they dont need you anymore, its over, they move on. My dear friend, I personally dont believe in best friends forever. Im convinced in this journey of life you indeed need friends, but their place in your life is for a role, a purpose and for a season, once their season is over, they move on and your next helper and friend shows up. Please dont get too emotional about friendships and relationships, most, if not all will end or become distant with time. Be your own best friend and learn to let go of other friendships once the season is over. Youll see the new friend you need for your new level will show up, please dont get it twisted. Let it go. Ill never advocate the principle of best friends for ever except in one situation and condition – marriage! Love your spouse to death! Enjoy your day.#HERO¤
Posted on: Mon, 01 Sep 2014 04:20:13 +0000