LISTENING IN RECOVERY “You have to listen to learn and learn to listen” Listening is a skill that most of us have never learned. It is something we need to develop if we want to build a successful life in recovery. It allows us to soak up the information we need to stay sober. Talking and sharing can help but it can be far more helpful to listen. Of course, we may be listening but are we really hearing what it is being said. What we hear and what we need to hear are two entirely different things. This is what is known as biased listening. (I remember the first words my counsellor said to me; “I will tell you what you need to hear and know, not what you want to hear and know”). We ignore any information that does not agree with what we believe to be true as it may be something we don’t in fact want to hear and could make us uncomfortable. We don’t get the message being given, we stay stuck and not able to move forward on our journey. To become a better listener takes time and practice. We tend to think about what we are going to say in reply before someone has stopped talking. This way we miss a lot of what is being said, some of which may be very important to us. Pay attention and respond when the speaker has stopped speaking. Don’t try to multi-task while listening, this can be rude and show that we are not really paying attention to the words being spoken; stop and listen to what is being said. It is hard to listen when there are a lot of distractions, turn off the cell phone, TV or music player and focus. When we listen we discover more about the world; listening to those with long term sobriety benefits us in our recovery; we can share the experience. It makes it possible to discover opportunities for ourselves that we may have otherwise missed. We don’t have all the answers; others can be a fountain of information to help us on our recovery journey. To have a clear picture of any situation we need to listen to what is being said. Often we only half listen so we never really know what is going on. This means we can make poor decisions and come into conflict with others. Sandy B LEARN TO BE A GOOD LISTENER. YOUR EARS WILL NEVER GET YOU INTO TROUBLE (Frank Tyger)
Posted on: Mon, 05 May 2014 12:27:32 +0000
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