LONG POST - GET A CUP OF COFFEE AND PUT YOUR FEET UP! Most of you have heard that I will be closing my Ob-Gyn practice in Hawkinsville this year. We have drawn a line in the sand with September 30th being our last day. That day is pretty much set in stone but could change depending on the circumstances. There is a pretty good chance that I will still cover some weekends at the hospital or perhaps work part time for the hospital on a limited basis. I will know more when the dust settles by the end of August. After all, like most Americans, I have bills to pay and one cannot comfortably live off social security! There is no one moment in time that led to this decision. In fact, I always felt, until recently, that I was like the Energizer bunny rabbit and could keep on ticking merrily along forever. Over the last two years, I have had to deal with the loss of my mother, a debilitating foot injury (never missed a days work though!), and bilateral cataract surgery. I tire more easily and I dont spring back as quickly when I go several nights with little or no sleep. I woke up one day and realized that if I lived as long as my dad did, I have 9 years left, and if I lived as long as my mom did, I have 16 years left. In the grand scheme of things, that is not a long period of time! And Life is very much like a roll of toilet paper in that it goes faster and faster as we near the end no matter how many years our Maker decides to give us! Added to all this is the stress of running a solo practice. Not only have I been on call 2 out of every three weeks for the last 2 1/2 years, but the downturn in the economy over the last several years has caused us many times to be on our knees praying some checks would come in the mail so we could pay our bills. We have employees who depend on us for their salaries, malpractice insurance premiums which cannot be ignored or put off, office expenses that must be dealt with and, of course, quarterly taxes to be paid. Not only do insurance companies drag their heels paying us for services rendered, but I have patients who have never bothered to try to pay anything on their bills. I once told someone that I have way more respect for those who are paying some small amount toward their bills on a regular basis and who probably would not get their bills paid in entirety before I am dead and gone, than those who make absolutely no effort at all! I watched my dad make weekly small payments to the hospital and doctor for years after I left home until he settled his accounts with them, and my dad was a perfect picture of a honorable man who made sure the folks that took care of his family when they were sick were reimbursed for the services they provided. Apparently, that attitude has somehow not been handed down to a lot of people these days! For 26 years, my family has always taken two cars to any event we attended so I could leave if I had to. Unlike most doctors in this area, even if I was not on call, if one of my patients was admitted in labor and I was within driving distance to get there in time to deliver, I left my family and went to the hospital. Usually if a doctor is not on call, you will not be able to find them. Consequently, I have had the privilege of delivering 98% of the women who contracted with me for their prenatal care. Being on call itself is like being a dog on a short leash. You are obligated to stay within 30 minutes of the hospital, and you dare not start anything you cant leave in a hurry like baking a cake or working in the yard because you may have to leave and get to the hospital posthaste. Most years I have been on call over Christmas, and I always prayed that God would grant me a window of time from early morning Christmas Eve until 10 a.m. Christmas Day so I could be with my family. He has always granted me that window, but I could never 100% enjoy it, because I stayed on edge listening for the phone to ring, signaling that I would perhaps have to leave. Now, believe me when I say I am not complaining. I chose this crazy lifestyle. I chose to be more available to my patients. But I must finally accept this gradual slowing down of my body which is the natural part of lifes journey. I want my grandchildren to know their TuTu (thats what they call me and it is the Hawaiian name for grandmother). Although I am well known in these parts, I have never been able to immerse myself in the community because I could never commit to being anywhere at a specific date and time because I was always on call. I have organizations that I am passionate about, like Hospice, that I would love to become involved with. I have had wonderful experiences with Hospice during the cancer journey with each of my parents. I have always wanted to do some medical missions but couldnt get away to do any. However, when I expressed this thought to one of my patients one day, she informed me that my practice here was my medical mission work! The last few years of my tenure here have been special because I have been delivering babes for the young men and women that I delivered so many years ago. It doesnt get any better than that! Over the years, I have had the opportunity to care for several generations of the same families. I have laughed with this folks and cried with them when their hearts were broken. I am not perfect and I dont pretend to have all of the answers. I have made mistakes, Im sure; after all, it is called the practice of medicine! All I am sure of is that I did my best to deliver good health care to those who chose me as their physician. I understand more and more each day why my mother refused to move to Georgia where I could have more easily cared for her when she was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer. The older you get, the less you like change. Wayne and I tossed around dates for closing the practice here for a year. I was the one who kept pushing back the date, but I finally realized if I didnt agree to a closing date that it would become more and more unlikely that I would ever leave. I would be like good ole Dr. Jack Butler in that, when I failed to appear for rounds one day, they would find that I had died peacefully in my sleep one night! I honestly do not think total retirement will ever be a word in my vocabulary, and my better half would probably be very afraid for me to totally retire. This step we have taken to close the Hawkinsville practice is indeed very scary to me. People who know me realize how much I hate change. I prefer a steady rhythm to my days (and many of you right now are wondering how an obstetrician can have any rhythm to any part of their life?!?). Part of my rhythm is the people I work with. My office staff is a superb and very caring group of women as is my L&D staff. I work at the best small hospital I have ever seen and we have an administrator who truly cares about staff and patients alike. My car practically drives itself to work each day because I have followed that route thousands of times at all hours of the day and night. I share meals at the Horseshoe and Huddle House in town with folks in the community who have helped me build my practice from the day I got here. I guess you could say I am in a comfortable groove most of the time. With the upcoming changes, I feel very much like I barely know how to swim and I am fixin to jump off the end of the pier into water that may be too deep for me and where I have no idea where the rocks are that are just beneath the surface. A friend of mine once said you have two choices in life - you can choose to wear out or to rust out. I choose the former, but I rest on Gods promises that He knows the plans He has for my life. I trust in Him to provide for my needs and to show me the way. Finally, I just want everyone to know that I value each and every person I have met here. Middle Georgia will always hold a special place in our hearts because of our long tenure here and the fact that we raised our sons here. I have made many lifetime friends here. It is my hope that you will choose to stay in touch with me even after we eventually settle full time in our home in Athens. ( I know for a fact that some of you are rabid Dawg fans and I will have extra bedrooms if you are up for a game and want to visit!) May God bless each and every one of you! Go Dawgs!!!
Posted on: Thu, 03 Jul 2014 04:30:26 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015